Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Rupi is going through a smacking, shoving and all round bad boy stage. Yes, he's adjusting to a new baby sister, having testosterone and developing independence but often this just crosses the line. And it's tiring.
Thank goodness for one of my besties who ran an early childhood centre in her previous life. Her good advice and helpful email was prefaced with "now first you need to know you are a great mum and going a great job". Really? Because having to leave Mainly Music early again because my son shoved a small child for the 10th time doesn't make me feel so fabulous.
I am just repeating (as I put him in time out for the 500th time) "this will pass, this will pass, this will pass...!) Along with slightly hysterical pleas to God "GIVE ME PATIENCE PULEEEZE!!!"
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I met up with the girl from Mainly Music this morning. We have so much in common, both South African, live near to one another, worked in the same industry, have adoption in our familes and she is considering being an egg donor. Boy, did I encourage her in this area! It's hard to put into words what a gift that would be to some couple. It would be a gift beyond measure or expression.
We did not meet by accident. God designed this. She is unsaved which is even MORE exciting. I can't wait to see where this goes!
The only negative was how my son beat her daughter up (shoving mainly!). Repeatedly. The shame.....
Monday, July 26, 2010
We waited a long time for children. We ached and longed for 6 solid years before Rupi came along. To keep going that long we needed faith. And you know what He says about faith....
Faith comes from hope. And hope is hard to come by when you are going through a long trial. It fades so quickly. So we needed hope. And lots of it.
Today was my turn. I gave someone hope. And it was so good.
I went to get a WOF for my car (warrent of fitness- in NZ this is a bi-annual checkup for your car. No WOF, no drive on road and no insurance!) The testing station had an outside area and I sat out there with the smallies in tow.
I struck up a conversation with the lady sitting next to me as we waited for our cars to be checked. She asked about the smallies and their names and ages. She then told me that she had missed her chance to have children as she has bad endometriosis. My heart broke as I saw the pain in her eyes.
I told her that things are not always as they seem and Rupi is adopted and Blossom is an egg donor child. Her eyes widened as I presented hope to her. I told her my story and she just drank it in. I also told her about a close friend who had stage 4 endometriosis (the worst kind) who has two children now. Good stories filled with hope.
I didn't offer her advice as I didn't know the ins and outs of her story. I know enough not be barge in with "this is what you should do". But I was blessed to offer her hope as I was offered hope so many times. I used to love stories of victory. People who against the odds, had children.
I was so grateful to be used like this. Barren girl, daring to offer hope. This lovely lady smiled as she left giving Blossom one more stroke on her little cheek. Who knows what God will do in her life? The possibilities are endless. I pray though that they involve children. And He can do it. After all, He can move mountains!
Friday, July 23, 2010
So I am not lonely, I just needed to reach out! Beautiful! And satisfied.
Monday, July 19, 2010
The reason for my failed foray into the world if HTML and all things IT was the odd comments I have been getting. It seems that when some comments are translated, weird things happen. The comment is a series of boxes and full stops. And when I click on the line of full stops I get directed to a website that I deem dodgy. Very dodgy indeed.
I am so sorry but if you are a commenter (commentor?) and your comment is translated (with that dodgy link)I will delete it. And if it carrys on I will have to block your blog. I hate having to do this as I love comments, and lets face it who doesn't, but I hate dodgy-ness even more.
The comments could be spam and research I did led me to believe they may be, which in turn led me to Disqus and there my cleverness ended.
This is why I outsource IT for my little business. I am IT illiterate. The end.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
This has been a week of meetings (that went REALLY well!), walks in the cold winter sun, playing on the beach, battling colds all round, diverting a small brother trying to whack an even smaller sister, dealing with tantrums, hearing cute words for the first time, watching Wiggles and Thomas the train DVDs a million times and dealing with a couple more tantrums.
In the middle of the chaos there have been some God-filled and beautiful moments :
Late afternoon sanity playtime at the local McDonald's playground. It rocks and so does the $5 coffee and muffin special.
Precious moments with little beings that won't be little for very long. Thank you God.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Mountain :: find a nanny.
No-one I know has ever had a nanny. I had no idea what to do, how to find one and how to choose. My children are just a little bit precious to me and I needed the right person. Also needed the nanny in place by the end of the month. This equals a mountain. God sorted it. I just cried out for help and He showed me. Step by step it happened and a lovely, gentle, musical Christian girl starts at the end of July. And she's getting more than she asked for and I am paying less than I thought.
Mountain :: prepare a profile for my company (for my big meeting tomorrow)
I had to adapt the existing one that had been done. I am very unfamiliar with the program I had to use to adjust it. A massive mountain. And yes, God sorted it. Took me step by step giving me the confidence to go a bit further and then further. Suddenly it was done and I went to the printer this morning. The profiles look gorgeous!
I really needed to hear Amy's words as this is my life. I have always walked a path with no sign posts. I honestly don't know of another christian woman in my world who is attempting to run a small business and raise very small kiddies. I look ahead and all I see is mountains. Thank goodness I have a mountain leveller ahead of me! Someone who loves me and promises that He will make a way. And then promises secret treasure. Treasure to create safe places for orphans with. And bring hope to the unloved and unwanted.This is what the Lord says: "I will go before you Cyrus (means "of the sun"), and level the mountains. I will smash down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness- secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the One who calls you by name." Isaiah 45: 1-2
Thank you God.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
This is not me. (Especially the body- I just gave birth, hello!!!)
The last 6 weeks have been the hardest (and the most wonderful and beautiful) of my life no doubt about it. And I have realised a few things....
Having children has taught me not to be quite as judgemental as I used to be. Isn't it amazing how as Christians we can judge? Yuck! We used to judge people who pulled back after having babies. "We won't be like that" we said, "We'll just take our babies along with us and keep going." Great sentiments and ones echoed by some Christians who have managed to pull this off. And I have aspired to be like them as they are pretty amazing.
But...they are not us and we are not them. And I cannot do it all. A humbling realisation.
I could sort of pull it off with one child. Start a small business, keep the home fires burning and focus on Rupi . I had help from my sister and mother and kind of did it all. I did cut back on serving at church as I couldn't attend some things but we managed to get to most events and meetings.
However two small children puts a whole new spin on things! And last week it all came to a head.
I tried to get along to a business breakfast hosted by the business arm of our church. I long to be part of this amazing group of people who inspire and spur me on. I have not been able to make the meetings since Rupi came along so really wanted to make this one as the speaker was the same as at the women's conference the next day.
It took a mammoth amount of organising using my sister and my hubbie who rearranged their days to help. I took off with Blossom in the car and hoped she would fall asleep on the way into the city. Hmmm. Not. I arrived with my tired and whining baby. She would not fall asleep so eventually I fed her early. She then developed extremely loud hiccups and complained on and off. I left early and walked the walk of shame across the hotel lobby with my now screaming child. Yes I attended but honestly? It wasn't worth it.
I cried tears of frustration and self pity on the way home and God whispered in my ear. "You can't do it all". And He's right. I can't do what I used to. We used to be the hard core serving, twice on a Sunday attending, glued to our seats during church people. Now? Not so much. Some Sunday's we are lucky to even get out of the house and into church. And that's ok.
Church for us means me in the parents room and hubbie in creche with Rupi who will not be left on his own. Church means attending at the moment, just being there. Even if we don't hear the sermon or hang around afterwards we are there. Present.
I am so glad God whispered this into my heart driving home after the disastrous business breakfast. Because otherwise I would have had to say that the womens conference was another disaster given how much I saw of the sessions. But it wasn't. I went along with my new expectations aligned with the grace God is extending me in this season. I sat in the parents room with all the other sleep deprived women and tried to hear what was said. But I actually connected more with other women than heard what was said.
And my new revelation was confirmed by my beautiful friend D who leads the Masterton church. As we rocked our babies in the foyer while the sessions went on inside the auditorium we talked about how we could have been resentful. But we weren't. We talked about God and our journeys and just connected. We shared and laughed and had our own session out there in the foyer.
Some things have to give in this season. This incredible, blessed season here in the Promised Land. And I am ok with that. More than ok. Very grateful to be here. And as I have learned to extend grace to others, I extend grace to me.
So yes. We are those people. Who don't always make it twice to church on a Sunday. Who are not always at every event. Who may appear to have "pulled back". But we are there, committed and sold out. Present.