Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
We (the doctor and I) trialed Blossom on this with good results. So I needed a paediatrician to apply on our behalf, to the Ministry of Health, for a subsidy. As this formula is drop dead expensive. Like $87 per SMALL tin expensive. Which adds up to $171 per normal size tin. Normal formula is between $15 and $22 per tin for the same amount.....yup. Kind of expensive.
So we got the subsidy approved and I popped down to the chemist to get my stash of tins. I knew it wasn't fully funded but had no idea what we would end up paying. Are you ready? We pay $7.50 per tin. $7.50!!!! Which makes it $15 per normal size tin. Stop it! I know. Craziness.
I am just not used to this type of thing. Where I grew up you don't ever get anything for free. If you don't work you don't have food to put on the table. South Africa does not have a welfare system. At all.
So I expect to pay for myself. I don't expect free healthcare, schooling or pension. I am working towards paying for myself when I get old. So this just blows me away. The government is paying nearly $80 per tin so Blossom can eat properly. I am so grateful.
Thank you whoever. I like Penny, would like to write a letter to someone and thank them. But who? The prime mminister? The Health minister? Bit laughable really but I am so grateful.
And so my little Blossom does not have puffy eyes any more, is not vomiting as much and has regular poop. You gotta love that!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Q: How can I be a friend to and support someone going through infertility?
As I have written so much about this, maybe I could point you to a series of posts I have written. The one that really answers the question is this one. A letter I wrote to the people in our world.
And sometimes it helps to understand what infertility is really like too. So here are some posts about the reality of living and walking through infertility:
I started this blog in 2008, about 18 months before Rupi came home so it was in the middle of our struggle with infertility. The pain was pretty raw and there was a sense of unreality about my life. Infertility always felt wrong to me, like something that should have been natural to us, was being denied us. It was an incredibly painful journey for us.
People do deal with infertility in different ways as we are made differently. But every journey involves pain and grief. They are the two common elements.
Infertilty sensitises you. To the normal and natural world. Living in an everyday world was imnpossible sometimes and everyday events and occuranmces were so painful as all they did was highlight your lack. Especially when it came to pregnancy and babies.
It also brings a great deal of shame. Particularly when the issue is with your body. This is an area the enemy really tries to bring defeat in and it's a battle to over come it. I have no idea how people do infertility without God and a suportive church and family. No idea at all.
To make it through infertility I needed support and I needed my friends. They were a lifeline
They helped get me from despair to here.....
Friday, November 19, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I am starting to find a rhythm in this new phase of life. And its a rhythm that only suits us. Our family. This season is so wonderful and all we have ever dreamed of. It's God-breathed and infused with His Grace. And it's busier and crazier than anything I have ever experienced before. Somehow though, it's not stressful. If I stop and listen I know that there is a rhythm for me and us. But first I need to free myself of my own expectation of what I think I should do or be doing. I need to stop and breathe and listen to Him...
So anyway, last weekend Rupi and I had a joint birthday celebration. I am not a party-queen and find organising birthday parties quite stressful. And there's a bit of peer pressure in NZ to have a birthday party for your child each and every year. Ahh, no thanks! So I think on the "off years" for Rupi, he and I will share a celebration!
This year was an Ice Cream social. An American concept and as a South African, I LOVE anything American. Usually the hosts (I believe) provide the ice cream and everybody brings topping and there is mass consumption of ice cream sundaes. We decided to provide it all and had waffles, bananas, choc/ vanilla and berry ice cream, lashings of cream, choc/ caramel and berry sauces, chopped peanuts, marshmallows, toasted coconut and hokey pokey for toppings. One word- BLISS!
We had a barbecue afterwards to try and soak up the sugar and Rupi did a spontaneous performance for us with his cousin....Look at his face!!!
The week brought my birthday (I feel sooooo old. BUT I did get asked for ID when buying a bottle of wine at the supermarket today and they ask if you look under 25 years old...WOOOHOOO!!! I digress...) So anyway. Yes I am old. But I had a wonderful picnic with my sisters and Mom. With coffeee, chocolate and cake and the sun shone. Perfection!
And then the cutest moment of the week has to go to Dida and Blossom. Here he is bathing her in Epsom salts as she had a raw, raw bottom from the severe reaction to the goats milk and soy milk formulas. It was ugly. So now she's on a hyper-allergenic formula and we are seeing a paediatrician on Monday. [Her bottom is better now!]
Have a wonderful weekend!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
You are two years old today! You are loving your special day even though I am not sure you understand why it's so special. Today is the day that you were born. It was the best day of our lives. Our first born, was born!
You are such a wonderful little person and growing up so fast. You are all boy and we celebrate that. You run and jump and crash your way though each day. You are strong and rough but very gentle too and give me such wonderful hugs.
You are still very reserved and take ages to open up to people. But you love the special people in your life, like me, Dida, Poppa and Nana and of course Kiki (Auntie Nikkey) You make people work so hard to earn your love (!!) that it's so special when you finally give hugs and kisses to those you trust.
Monday, November 1, 2010
November was always so exciting and I would count down until my birthday. Birthdays are a BIG deal in our family. But as infertility started to make itself felt, each birthday month became something I would dread. Another year older and my fertility clock was ticking like a time bomb. Never very fertile to begin with my mid thirties slowly crept up on me and I was terrified.
2007 was awful. We did the last IVF cycle and was told no more. My body was just not responding and I was on the highest possible dosages of drugs. Then we got news that someone was interested in placing their baby girl with us. Our spirits soared only to be dashed just before Christmas when she changed her mind.
2008 started darkly and got even worse. In January my precious Da (Dida's father) was diagnosed with colon cancer. We lost him in June. Our hearts honestly failed. Hope deferred makes the heart sick and our hearts were very ill. We stood up at his funeral in front of 500 people and spoke of our journey. We despaired.
So when Sweetpea approached us we could not trust that this would work out. We heard of this little baby boy and I did not dare to hope. Sweetpea had enough faith for us all and at the tender age of 14 years old, told me to trust her. That she would not change her mind.
I saw another November coming and my heart just dropped. Rupi was due in late October and so I knew that by my birthday we would know. If he was our son of vision or not. My heart was failing and I could not have coped. I would love to say that I trusted God and was fine, but I was not. I could not take anymore.
He was born on the 3rd of November and we got the call late that Monday night. We rushed down the next day and incurred the wrath of the social services. Nothing looked like it would work out but God came through. Our family and church prayed so hard and on the 14 November 2008 we got the call we had waited a life time for. Rupi came home that night.
November turned from mourning to laughing. November was redeemed. In the beauty of God's impeccable timing I was still 36 years old when Rupi was born. Only just! My birthday is 5 days after his!
The last two years have been the happiest of my life. I cry every time I write about it and think of my little boy. The waiting was agonising but he was worth it. It took me a while to really believe that my son was in my arms. Like a creature that had been kept in the dark, it took me a while to get used to the sunlight. I was slowly reborn as my little boy grew. He is everything we ever hoped and dreamed of. From his sweet smile and tender hugs to the bashing and tantrums, he is all we wanted!
Sweet sweet November. I am so glad that you are here! The month of breakthrough and redemption. The month of His favour! Yay!