She's been on my mind. I think Easter reminds me of her. I think especially of sacrifice at this time. My God gave His son for me. Chose to allow His Son to die so I can have life. I make no bones that that kind of sacrifice is inconceivable for me.
I could not give up one of my children for anyone. Sorry. I wish I was nicer but they are beyond precious to me. If one of you needed life at the expense of one of my children....sorry. You would be meeting Jesus in heaven *wink*
Yet Sweetpea did. She looked at what she could give Rupi and at how much she loved him, and made the ultimate sacrifice. She chose us and gave up her chance to be a Mommy to him. Yes, she's still his birthmommy, but I am the Mommy that he knows. The one he reaches for and calls "Mama".
When I read about adoptions I am so happy and so sad at the same time. I feel such joy for those who's breakthrough is coming, but I know of the sorrow coming for those on the other side.
I know Sweetpea misses Rupi with every fibre of her being. I know she thinks of him every single day. I am so glad she knows he's safe and loved and cherished. Imagine not even knowing that... She knows that she can come up to Auckland at any time and see him. He is accessible to her.
I am the Mama that tucks him up in bed at night. The one he wants to cuddle. The sacrifice was on her side. The pain on her side. The fullfillment and joy on mine. Two edges of a sword. Sweet and bitter. So I think of her and I pray for her. And I hold Rupi tight and we look at photos of her and we talk. About growing in Sweetpea's tummy and how much she loves him.
Last time we saw her she held Rupi and kissed him. The love shone out of that kiss. And she told him out loud for the first time in my hearing, that she loved him. My heart was full. And it broke at the same time.
So I honour Sweetpea and those like her. Who choose a sacrifice I cannot begin to imagine. They are an example of Christ to me. They lay down their desires and dreams so another can have what they dream of.
Pretty jolly humbling.
The Gift of Memory
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