All I have

The prognoses for our loved one is worse than we thought. They need to have 6 months (6 months!) of chemo starting in two weeks. 8 cycles of 21 days each. I have typically reacted in a "what can I do" way and am currently in the throes of a soup making frenzy. Good hearty soup is needed for recovery and so the freezer is rapidly filling with neat little containers with a variety of flavours. Honestly like soup is going to help...

I think I am quietly trying not to freak out. But here's the thing. Do I trust Him or not? I have learnt enough to know that my love and trust needs to be unconditional. Do I trust Him or not? That's the still quiet question in my heart. When I put the soup ladle down long enough to think, the answer is yes. Yes I do trust Him. I trust that He knows what He is doing with the life of this incredibly precious person.

So what now? Pray and lay my burden down. And leave it down at the foot of the cross. That's all I have because He is all I have.