Sunday, September 13, 2009


So yes, the words I thought I would never say- I am pregnant. Even writing those words seems unreal. How could I ever be pregnant? At this moment, God has breathed life into me and I carry a scrap of life.

5 weeks today.

We have been working our way through the frozen embryos and the second (of 4) has bloomed into life. This little one was a 8 cell on paper but they think divided again just before they froze it and was a 10 cell embryo. Strong! When the lab thawed it only 2 of the 10 cells didn't make it so we had an 8 cell embryo replaced.

I had physical symptoms of pregnancy early on and it was driving me crazy so I had a blood test a day early (5 September) and it was positive. I was in shock when we got the call and did not know what to think. Happy scared I guess.

This period in time (5 weeks) is the time when things went wrong last time so I find myself watching my body like a hawk. I have a bad cold so maybe that could cause things to go wrong? And I imagine the symptoms stopping or not being so strong constantly.


I am ok. Should this not work then I have had a week of glorious pregnancy. I never thought I would have this opportunity. It is so wonderful to know that my body can support a scrap of life. Because it's not up to me, it's up to God to breathe life into that little embryo.

Today we sang another Equippers anthem. Amazing song and I lived every line of that song. And a couple of lines resonated in my heart.

The enemy is defeated

As I praise You, praise You

You are Mighty, yes You are

You are Mighty, yes you are

The enemy and what he seeks to bring (fear) is defeated. No matter what, I will not turn on my God in anger or bitterness if this does not work out. It would be wonderful and amazing to work out but that may not be my reality and that's ok. I have come to far to give in now.

My God is my Rock and He will sustain me through this time.

Next blood test on Tuesday and that's the one that told us we were to miscarry last time. Can't deny I am nervous but I will do my utmost to trust in Him. And His Grace will fill the gap for me.

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