Over

So yes, I am not pregnant.

But I was.

When I thought I was not.

We replaced both embryos and it was hard. We wanted to honor the gift we had been given and allow any life that was there to flourish. But we are so very happy as a family of four. Complete and content.

There were no symptoms at all, unlike the previous miscarriage and pregnancy. Nothing. I assumed, as I had been in that space 7 times, that I was not pregnant. Together we moved on utterly before the blood test. We had packed our bags emotionally and mentally and moved on.

So to be told I was indeed pregnant was like being hit with a baseball bat. We were in shock for about 4 days. I woke up yesterday on Anzac Day and felt that I had started to embrace the pregnancy. So we decided to tell our close ones. Yesterday afternoon I started miscarrying.

There was no life there, I am sure. Blossom was aggressive in her growth, I felt her every development. This was completely different, it was passive. There were no symptoms at all. The nurse called the embryos unviable and for once, their cold and clinical language fits.

So here we are.

We are a family of 4 and this whole experience has made me utterly convinced of the perfection of that number for us. Before, I wondered if there was a lack/ gap in our family. Now I know there isn't. We are complete.

While we are sad, we are free. An 8 year journey is at an end. We are free to move on, with our little blessings in tow. Our marriage is strong and we are happy. Our children are flourishing. Our quiver is full. Two amazing arrows sit in our quiver and our cup overflows. We are truly blessed.

Dairy free goodness

This afternoon we baked Meg's Dairy free chocolate chip cookies. Although we (Rupi that is) calls them biscuits.

They are delish! And super easy to make with small people, we'll definitely be making these again.

 The helpers...

The bowl scrapers..

And the eaters!

Happy Monday!!!

just fantabulous

We had a weekend that was pretty much perfect! There was so much goodness we feel utterly replete and ready for the week ahead...

We started with a date at the park with my Mom. She's doing ok with the chemo so far.



We then met my sister and nephews at an indoor playground with a giant slide. Rupi went on it about 400 times and Blossom about 100 times. That meant that I got to go a 100 times with her too. I loved it (not) as you can see...



Saturday was Scrag's epic Peter Pan party. I was seriously excited about this party and it did not disappoint. Simoney is a genius. Pure and simple. I am so grateful that Rupi and Scrag are so close in age and we are besties with the G family as we'll always get to go to Scrag's parties (yippee!)

The Pirate ship complete with "walk the plank"...

The smallest and cutest Tinkerbell ever!


Mr G moonlighting as Captain Cook. The little girls were genuinely terrified, hehe!


My little Lost Boy!
Rupi didn't sleep much on Sat night due to growing pains (he's now into size 5 clothing and he's only 3 years old). We slept in and missed church and celebrated His Goodness at the beach. Love New Zealand!

Remaliah, (my fellow tiny foot admirer) note the size 20 gumboots on Blossom! Melt.My.Heart!



We also squeezed in Rupi's soccer game, veggie gardening, catching up with old friends and visited our favourite aunt and uncle. What a great weekend. Hope yours was too!

a little bit of heaven

We've been to paradise. We've walked on rocks, looked for crabs, cuddled and read books. It's been pure awesome-ness.

shredded

This weekend we had our annual church conference, Shout. It was beyond amazing. With Israel Houghton and New Breed, Russell Evans, Reggie Dabbs. Ah-mazing.

But what took it beyond amazing was that Jesus showed up. And shredded me.

Jesus be the centre of it all

From beginning to the end

It will always be

It's always been you Jesus

We sang this with Israel and New Breed. And on resurrection Sunday it resonates.

Happy Easter!

grow baby grow

We are getting into growing our own food. Part of our journey to simple living. I love that we know what goes into these plants and that they are nutrient dense.

It's been a bit of a learning curve as I am such a newbie though! Growing plants from seed has been... interesting! I have tiny little beetroot plants in the ground now and so very glad to have them out of the seed trays and into the soil. They are particular little plants and it took 3 round of seeds/ seedlings before I got these ones. I managed to kill the others through lack of sun and then too much sun...

Loving learning and can't wait to get fresh beetroot juice into my Mom. Pure goodness!