made it

We made it. Through one long 11 week term without the nanny. It was tough and crazy but now we know that we can do it. The kiddies are tired and so are we but we made it.

Blossom is going through one crazy time of pants wetting at pre-school. She's fine at home but there she's Queen Wet-Pants. As you can imagine (being low on drama and analysis) I have tormented myself about this. Did we put her in too early? Is she being hurt? Is she scared of the toilets? On and on. The teachers put it down to her being too busy doing things and forgetting or not wanting to bother. For the sake of my sanity, I am agreeing. And buying more undies and leggings.

Rupi is having his own crisis. He likes to read about dinosaurs and loves anything that features a large man eating animal. All well and good until the middle of the night. Between nightmares about big teeth "getting him/ me/ Dida/ Blossom" and growing pains in his knees, sleep is scarce. So this week I had him in bed with me and Dida slept in Rupi's single bed (haha!). So when Rupi wakes I put an arm out and cuddle him. The shadows have disappeared from beneath his eyes but not sure of the long term viability of sleeping separately to my husband!

Still, these are minor blips and we made it. We made it to the school holidays! I still have next week to negotiate between work and kids but in the second week of the holidays we are going away for 4 nights. No internet, no computers, just us. And that will be bliss.

Happy school holidays!

P.S. Photos from Normanton Park, on the North Shore. This park is the bomb.

barren woman sings

There is something amazing about the baby shower of an infertile. The pain, tears and suffering are somehow distilled into the most intense joy. The atmosphere sings of breakthrough and triumph.

One of my barren friends had her baby shower today. She has waited a long time for her boy. They are welcoming a 14 month old baby boy into their home and she is becoming his Mommy. This is not easy and their past and future remain hard and yet this is breakthrough of the most precious kind.

I have been so grateful and my heart has been moved so much over the last weeks as we have heard of this little boy. We make plans for ourselves, natural plans that follow the "normal". And when these plans do not come to fruition there is heart break. But I testified today to my friend that God's plans are indeed perfect. They do not resemble ours in the least and yet more than we could have hoped or dreamed of. God's plan for this little boy and for my friend and her husband are perfect.

I promised her today that the joy she feels today is a tiny part of what she will feel in a year. And the joy she feels then will multiply again and again. I thank God that I did not fall pregnant all those years ago. I thank God that I had to wait. Because the children I have are perfect. Perfect for us and the ties and bonds they bring with others are part of that perfection.

Today was a good day, friends. A very, very good day.

church loving

I love our church. The thing that bums me out sometimes is that it's not local. We live in a different part of the city to it, but that's not enough reason for us to leave. We have been going there for 11 years and I can see us there until we are old and wrinkly.

I have fallen in love even more with our church as I see how the children are loved each Sunday. They are taught about God's love through amazing helpers and teachers.

Rupi is in a class run by Mrs L. Mrs L is legendary and I heard stories of how much children love her class years ago. She is pretty special. And Rupi looooooves Mrs L and "kids church" every Sunday.

The memory verses ("member" verses according to him) he gets each week are treasured and pored over. He carries them around and repeats them...and almost gets them right. I hear hymn teaching Blossom a contorted form of the Word sometimes, it's hilarious.

How awesome is our church!

P.S. The spiderman tag off his favorite spiderman t-shirt is racked alongside God's Word- so funny!!!

circus

Today was Adventure Wednesday and we had a special guest along for the ride. My aunt is visiting from South Africa. My favourite aunt, she is pretty amazing.

So we took her along on Adventure Wednesday as we visited our happy place- Auckland zoo. My Mom, my sister and my two nephews also came along and we rocked the place. We were loud, crazy and like a 3 ring circus at times. It was fabulous!

Happy Adventure Wednesday!

My Sweetpea

Tomorrow is Sweetpea's (Rupi's birth mother) birthday. She will be 19 years old. We have known her since she was 14 years old, it amazes me that we have seen her grow into a young woman and known her for 5 years.

We met her when she was 5 months pregnant with Rupi. We met at a cafe and I was shaking like a leaf. I was terrified. It was about 6 weeks after Dida's Dad had died and we were vulnerable, grieving and raw. We sat opposite Sweetpea and her parents and talked. We were in no state to be guarded and so we talked from the heart. We told Sweetpea what our son's name would be and why the name meant so much to us. That if she chose us, this is the name this little boy would have. She said that she liked the name and could she chose the second name? With a "yes" my heart began to hope, just a flicker.

When we left I asked her if I could touch her tummy and she said yes. I fleetingly laid my hand on her beautiful belly and we smiled at each other. I learned later what a gift that was as she did not allow anyone, even her mother to touch her tummy.

She went through so much over the following 5 months. Friends and family turned their backs on her, the father of her baby who she loved began to hate her and there was pressure from every direction. And yet she stood firm. I broke down in tears on one visit and she looked into my eyes and told me to trust her. That she would not change her mind. A young 14 year old girl was so strong and faithful.

I will always be grateful to Sweetpea. I am more grateful that I can express. She made me a mother. She took her son and laid him in my arms. She shares that sacred space of motherhood with me. But that's not why I love her.

I love her because she's passionate and true. She's kind and loyal. She's very naughty and has fallen often yet, I don't care. She admitted what she had done when we last met and I told her I knew. I have a past myself and I know when someone is hiding things. But I see who she really is, in her heart and I adore that person.

I am truly blessed to know her. Happy Birthday to my Sweetpea.