Mothers Day

Mothers Day....the one day that represents in entirety the struggle we have had. Ask any infertile which day is the hardest and it's Mothers Day. Without a doubt.

I have such mixed emotions about tomorrow. Part of me is so glad and grateful I am a Mommy but most of me remembers what it's like not to be. Especially tomorrow.

My hubbie has banned me from being in large gatherings of people (particularly in flu season). If I have a fever at this point my body gets too hot and the embie goes to be with Jesus. It's the one thing the nurses tell you "Don't get a fever!" So we have been sanitising like crazy and avoiding contact with large crowds of people...

That means no church tomorrow. To be honest I would probably risk it but the law has been laid down and I am happy to fall in line. That means that I won't be at church for my first Mothers Day.

Shhh.... I am quite glad.

Why?

I don't want to look in the eyes of those still waiting. Those who are trying with everything they have to celebrate with the Mothers while their hearts are breaking. Girls like me, last year.

Because I know.

My hubbie and I just know when couples are struggling and how they feel. A couple that are good friends are really struggling while waiting. And we know it from the subtle retreat and what is unsaid. Because we are on the other side and to be around us hurts.

I guess I just want to say to those who are waiting that I get you. I know what tomorrow represents and I understand. That does not help in dealing with tomorrow but it does help to know someone gets it. I will be praying for you.

For those on the other side. If you know someone is struggling with infertility a swift hard hug (without words) always helped me. Simoney was particularly good at these!

Let them know that you love them. Because you do. I was so loved and am eternally grateful to my friends for loving me constantly.