Thursday, February 7, 2013
In the bleak winter of emotion we find ourselves in as a family, there have been some wonderful moments. Moments where I am reminded that I am loved and cherished. I have some amazing friends.
Darling Meg turning up with with a DVD for the kiddies and "love" blocks because she loves me and can't think of what else to do.
Sweet Liv, the secret blog lurker giving me a package on Sunday at church. With yarn! Soft amazing yarn. This was so thoughtful (I cried)
And beautiful Gail, struggling with her own battles yet seeing me in mine. Knowing my Starbucks-crush and giving the perfect time out gift.
These mean so much to me as the words that I hear the most are "Call me if you need anything." And without being unkind I can't do anything with those words. The reality is that by the time I have had a million conversations about my parents, each weighing me down as I am faced again with their mortality, looked after my family, organised things I did not think of organising for many years and tried to work, the last thing I have energy for is to contact someone with a request.
What I need and what anybody needs in the same boat, is someone to do something specific. Sometimes I am not sure quite what I need either and something is always better than nothing. So a meal is good, a bunch of flowers, a text to say I am praying for you or I thought of you today. A facebook message to say I love you...
An amazing example is the day we moved. I was exhausted. Simoney rang (and rang a few times) to see what she could do. And eventually suggested lunch. I had not even given lunch a thought and we were between houses and packed up. She arrived with an abundance of food, disposable cutlery and crockery, her own knives and a cutting board and drink (with disposable glasses). I felt so loved.
Oh friends, to be honest this journey is bigger than what we can cope with. My Dad's cancer is worse than my Mom's and the prognosis is bad. Seriously bad. My Mom's big sister arrives in a week and I can't wait. She's a hospice (terminally ill) nurse so will help us prepare mentally, emotionally and physically.
I know my God is in this. We truly trust him. It's just that the woods are awfully dark right now and it's a little scary.
P.S. Yes that's a new blog sitting on my profile waiting for me to find time to complete it. It's getting so many page views which is stressing me out. It's not ready and I need to launch it. So ignore it for now (pretty please)