Monday, May 18, 2009

Not

Not pregnant. I had my blood test yesterday and the result was not what we were hoping for. We are ok. Upset and sad obviously but not devastated.

I just wrapped my arms around Rupi and cried and holding him made it bearable. I thank God that He has broken through for us. He redeemed 6 years of pain with the gift of Rupi and He can redeem this present pain.

He is my Certainty.
It would have been miraculous and wonderful to be pregnant but I am not, and that's ok. We may only ever be a family of 3, and that's ok.

The only thing that's certain is Him. I have made plans in my heart but if they don't come to pass we will be ok. God will make what He plans our best and I know that in the end we will see and feel that.


Not sure where to from here. We have frozen embies that are life to us. But we would love to just move on from fertility treatment. I am over the needles, testing, invasive procedures, cost and pain. We will pray and ask Him.

So thank you for praying for us. I appreciate it more than I can say.

We are blessed and walk in His favour. I just have to look at this tiny man and my heart overflows with God's goodness to me.


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8 comments:

Rebecca said...

Much love xox You're amazing!!

Janna said...

Oh, Sammy, I'm so sorry. I'm praying that the Lord wraps his arms around you at this time and that you are constantly aware of his presence with you.
(((HUGS)))
Janna

Jessica said...

Oh, that is not the news I was hoping for. Fertility treatments are just so invasive and consuming, especially to end up with nothing.

But I'm so glad your heart has Reuben to rejoice in and CHERISH. God has made a way for you, and what a blessing that way is.

Whatever your decision to move forward, I will pray for you. Hugs!

Gail said...

XO
Gail

Jodi said...

I'm so sorry, Sammy. Hang onto that precious little boy of yours, he will help you through this tough time. (((hugs)))

Amy said...

(((hugs)))

Thanks for your comment Sam, it is awesome to serve a God who holds us so gently and blows His fragrance and love over us. Yes, there will be gardens in the wastelands!

Penny said...

Love you heaps. Yes you are truely amazing and strong and courageous.

Simoney said...

Ohhhh Sammy. No words. Just love. Ang HUGS. xxxx xxxxx xxxxx

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