Back then

I was looking through photos today and came across this one. I don't remember even seeing it before but when I looked at it I was transported back to that moment. The sights, sounds, smells and feelings of that particular time and space.

This was taken at Rupi's baby shower in November 2008. Rupi was 19 days old. I had been his Mama informally for 12 days and legally for 7 days.

I remember the feeling of utter relief, of unbelievable joy and being overwhelmed at how much love I felt for this little boy. I sat in a corner and for a brief moment looked out at the room. There were so many people sharing our joy. So many people who had prayed and believed and wept with us. And finally at that moment, everyone celebrated.

Here I am, a brand new Mama. With my son of vision held close. So good.

Loving Blossom

linking up with amazing PJ

This week I am LOVING my little Blossom [I love her every week and every moment, just thought I'd add that!]

♥ tiny pins

As someone who has large feet for their height I secretly admire anyone with little feet. And Blossom has the daintiest feet ever! She needs proper soled shoes as she's walking and trotting and I couldn't find them anywhere. All the ones her size are soft soled and made for the pre-walking stage. I managed to find some hideously expensive ones (on sale- whoop!) so here she is rocking her Bobux vintage gold trainers...


♥ my beads

Not only does she rock her shoes but all things girly. She loves to stagger around the house with my beads on. And yesterday I caught her admiring herself in the mirror with them on, turning this way and that. And people reckon boys and girls are the same!


♥ pigwig

When Blossom had her last allergic reaction she went off the bottle. As she had done this before we weren't too worried. But this time she would not go back onto it. She completely weaned herself. Which meant I had to get serious with her dairy and gluten free diet. Well, Blossom is a total piggie which is fantastic! She eats constantly and will try anything. She toddles over to the pantry/ fridge and demands food. Bo-bo (biscuit) and craw-craw (cracker) are two words we hear 14,000 times a day. Gotta love it!

Sickly

I remember pre-children how sickness used to be dealt with. The healthy spouse would hover over the sick spouse, gently tending to their needs. Nothing was too much trouble. If the sickness was too much, a day would be taken off work, to be spent wrapped up in bed with a stack of books and snacks at the ready. The healthy spouse would come home early to nurse the sick one, fluttering around with tasty morsels to tempt the sick one's appetite. Medicine was whipped out and tenderly administered and the sick one would spend the evening cosied up in front of the TV, watching their programme of choice.

Now things are a little different.

Sickness tends to run through the family, concentrating itself in the children. Who have NEEDS and are not afraid to make themselves heard. Loudly and without ceasing. The sick adult has to look after the children first and foremost. No time for lying in bed or such like. The children need looking after and that's that.

Sympathy from the other healthy adult is often in very short supply. Either they are coming down with the lurgy or are exhausted from looking after the sick children.

This is my life at the moment. As I collapsed on the couch next to Dida last night I had to laugh. "I feel terrible" I said. "Well go to bed" was his response. And that was the end of that. I got my own medicine, wrapped myself up in bed and went to sleep.

Catch up in the big smoke

As I am sure you have read on the kiwi blogs, yesterday's Auckland gathering was fantastic. A whole lot of bloggers once again proving that bloggers tend to like one another and get on like many houses on fire...

Meg and I

Jaz and Meg

I loved it! I got to meet Meg and PJ and Jacksta-B to name a few and catch up again with Cat and Meg and Leonie. Simoney, Lyns, Penny and I are church maties so I see them a bit anyway. Not that it wasn't wonderful to see them, I should add. As you can imagine there was extensive use of one's camera. At times it was like having the paparazzi around. I knew I was on the back foot when people took photos of food, the decor and lighting. I quickly whipped my camera out and took a photo of my food. This was the thing to do if you are a serious blogger (with 700 followers, no names mentioned... PJ, oh oops!)

Yes, this is my food...

Jacksta-B and PJ admiring their food

Leonie in paparazzi mode

I managed to hold it together, restraining the randomness and hyena laugh. I did however almost manage to offend PJ by calling her naughty- without explaining what naughty is in my world. Duh.

naughty= someone with that impish twinkle in their eye, who is ready to have a laugh and see the funny side of life. Mischievous. A good sort. An example is Gail.

So anyway.

Pulled that one back from the brink and had a lovely time. And I won a prize! A book by one of my favourite authors. Light, fluffy and a tear jerker (don't judge- I do skip the yucky descriptive bed bits...)

My book!

Needless to say we missed Gail. So we had a sad photo- which was ruined by the snort of laughter from the waiter as we were taking the photo. Took a while to settle us cackling hens back down into a sad frame of mind.

Can't wait to catch up again, I have promised Meg that we'll road trip down south next time. Who's up for that?

first day

Today had the potential for disaster.

And at times none of us were sure about this whole school gig....


But we slowly warmed up to the idea and started looking forward to it.


And the smallest man in the house was happy to enter a whole new world!

He's done his first morning at pre-school and loved it! We are so happy. He was ready and the timing was perfect. Our little bird is trying out his wings.

P.S. It's unbelievably freezing here at the moment! Icy wind and snow flurries. Yikes.

Lose it or bust

Yeah so I am on a diet. Have been for 19 days (and 16 hours and 40 minutes, not that I am counting). It was getting to the point where disguising my middle and bottom was no longer hiding the spread and Dida was making remarks about the roundness of my face.

The final straw was Dida's remarks about how much thinner we looked in a photo- taken 11 weeks after Blossom's birth. Righto then. If I am now larger than straight after giving birth, maybe its time to do something. Point taken.

I decided on the Dukan diet. After all it worked for the Duchess and her family before THE wedding. And I know someone who looks like a different person after 6 months on this particular diet. He raves about this diet so I thought I would give it a go.

I have managed to convince my sister to come on it with me. This was a master stroke, if you don't mind me blowing my own horn. My sister is the bomb- researcher. I am not. She has researched tips and recipes and emails me constantly with them. Love it. And its so nice to whine to someone about the restrictions. My texts to her are rather more dramatic than hers of course and involve words like "dying", "losing will to live", "help me Jesus" etc.

The diet is basically low carb, low sugar and high protein. The diet creator reckons this is what French woman eat to look so good. Well, I can't say I am loving it but I am reaping the results. 3kg down so far and nearly half way. My sister has lost over 4kg and has been on it a week less than me- she's doing very well.

Its been 19 days since I ate chocolate, a muffin, biscuit, cake or chippies. There are moments when I want to weep with the longing but I am determined. I think you really need a goal as any diet is hard work. I have a giant birthday coming up in November and that's inspiration enough.

If anyone is ever keen I have a spreadsheet with the diet fundamentals. And you go on this website to work out how long you need to be on each stage. I haven't even read the book, which I am not saying is a good thing, but you can do it without the book.

Here's to another 3kg!

Beyond awesome

This weekend we had our women's conference. Forget every image you have of a woman's conference and imagine this: about 800 women ALL worshiping God together. The sweet sound drove me to tears. The teaching was incredible and we were super spoiled.

This was our gift. Hello sterling silver Tiffany&Co. Oh my.


We had our amazing senior pastor and Sam Evans and Lisa Bevere preach. LISA BEVERE people. Yup, THE Lisa Bevere a.k.a. lioness, bringer of the Word and she of the "take no prisoners, stand up and fight" fame. Aside from her mind blowing Spirit-led teaching, if I can look half as good at 50 years old as she does, I will be one happy woman.

I got her book "Lioness arising" and cannot wait to get into it. (Fear not, "Mrs B in China", I got you a copy too and Meg and I are working on getting you the other something special we all got. Hey, will be like you were truly there!)

I know I rabbit on about our church but I can't help it. We are so blessed to be part of Equippers. If you are in a town where there is an Equippers, you NEED to come along. Unless of course, you are a part of a lovely church already. But then your church could be friends with our church and you can STILL come to EquipHer conference!

As I may have mentioned before, we were put in touch with Sweetpea when she was pregnant via our church. So the connections are strong. It's got even better. Sweetpea's family are joining the new Equippers starting up in the town Rupi was born in. Blood family becoming church family.

This weekend Sweetpea's Mom came along to the conference. And this morning she sat with us in church. It was wonderful. Half way through the service Rupi was on her knee. I could feel her heart expanding with sheer joy. Happiness was beaming out of her in waves. I loved it, it was super cute.

I love that this is normal. And I believe it's the church we are in that enables this. We are challenged and loved and encouraged and supported. Constantly pointed towards Jesus. And that makes the impossible possible. The implausible plausible. We see Him everywhere we look. And now the circle is completing. Birth family and adoptive family. In a peaceful loving relationship, under the same roof. Blows my mind.

I don't care

I don't care if the way I bring my kids up is contrary to the way others do it. The family drama I am having is because we discipline in a way that others find too weak. And then my boy was disciplined in a way that is foreign to us and that's unacceptable.

I don't care. Because when I read about Ava and her Mama all I want to do is hold my precious little ones. Love them and hold them tight. Ava went to be with Jesus a couple of years ago and her mother misses her so much. I can't comprehend the loss and honestly, I don't want to even try.

My heart and expectations are caught up in these small people. And as much as I try to surrender those dreams to my God, they still capture my heart. I dream of this day and that day, far in the future and I smile.

So I don't care if people around me think we are too soft. My children are miracles and too precious to feel the back of my hand. I thank God for every day with them for each day is priceless.

Ava's Mama, Sheye, asks us, in the month of Ava's remembrance, to hold our babies a little closer. Love them and cherish them. Tell them that they are wonderful and that you love them. And I will. In the best way I can and with all that I am.