Making do

Rupi's beloved Thomas car bag fell apart. Cue many tears as he stuffed the cars in and they fell out like a Hansel and Gretal crumb trail as he carried the bag.

I could have gone out and bought another one for less than $5 from the one of the cheapo bargain stores. But really?

Thomas was reinvented and stitched to the new super reinforced car bag. Rupi is thrilled and so am I. This cost zero dollars. Zero- whoop!

Perfection

"You know me inside and out

You know every bone in my body

You know exactly how I was made,

bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day." Psalm 139

The two of us

In the middle of a crowded restaurant, on Saturday night, two souls connected. We had been trying to find space to do this for ages and finally we made it. In the middle of another friend's birthday party we sat beside one another sharing our stories.

She has an egg donor baby and so do I. What a gift to find someone else like me. To look into one another's eyes and to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the other gets you. Understands the journey, the heart ache, the joy and the grief.

It's the first time I have ever spoken to someone who is the recipient of an egg donor. She's the only one I know of. The best thing of all is that she is SO lovely. Easy to talk to with a tender heart, she is just wonderful. And she loves Jesus which is the best thing of all.

So two barren women sat together and talked about the joy of mother-hood. And we are both truly barren, in the natural, having gone through the rigors of IVF and failing to conceive time after time. And yet, we have children. How amazing is that?

I left with the certainty that God is amazing. He redeems what is lost and fallen. Motherhood extends beyond biology (or genetics). Motherhood is a God given privilege. Motherhood is a spiritual and emotional bond.

And I say to you again, my special friend (yes, she reads the blog) that there is no-one who can be the mother that you can for baby B. You are her everything and God brought the two of you together. May there be so many more times that people say how much she looks like you!

Some

This little girl is always on the move. Walking and talking. Non-stop. Her little voice fills the house and if no-one is in the room to talk to, she will talk to her stuffed toy, or puzzle or book.

I love how she places a demand on me. So assured of her place in my life in and in our house, she never hesitates to ask. "Up?" is most common question and once up on my hip she is able to direct me. " 'is way" she says and points her arm. "Some?" is the next most common question as she always wants what I am eating. I am more than happy to share my food and let her use my hip as mode of transport. I would give her the shirt off my back and I love to hear her ask. It gives me endless pleasure to give to her.

She is my little girl. At 20 months old she still has rubber band wrists and baby feet. Such little feet! A delicate looking child that is more than able to hold her own. I pray her confidence remains as it's a treasure to see.

My girl ♥

My Slap-Dash Musings

Inspired (and endlessly amused) by Gails Slap Dash Musings here is a list of my own:

♥ Mama is the bomb

No-one finds things like me, I mean, no-one. Buzz was looked for, yearned for and mourned. But I found him. There he is, HEY Buzz there under the pink sunhat! Could the hiding be from the fact his arms & hands have been chewed off my his owner???

♥ My Mac

(the ♥ is a bit of a stretch, should be on "maybe like") Moving from a windows PC to a Mac has been a NIGHTMARE. Mainly due to still having to use my super expensive windows based programs. There have been times where I have truly hated the Mac. Seriously. And we are not quite out of the woods yet.

♥ Her hair

I love it love it love it. I do plaits/ pony tails/ pig tails/ hair bands and clips. One at a time or a combination or multiples. Luckily Blossom loves having her hair brushed (phew!)

♥ Freakish-ly organized

As I now have a whole (albeit small) room to myself for an office, I have organized myself into a coma. Here are my new insides of my new white drawers. Be still my beating heart.

♥ Sweetpea and her Mum

No photos just a story. They came up to the Big Smoke yesterday and so we did the gelato run and came back to our place. Loved it. Just natural and very normal. We always thought that they had no idea how old we were. The adoption profile didn't say and we were terrified they would turn us down if they knew. In conversation I admitted my age yesterday. "Oh yes, we knew how old you are" came the reply. WHAT? Apparently they always knew and there we are tiptoeing around the topic for 3 1/2 years. Gotta love us,  we are utter dorks...!

simplify

It's been quiet here on the little blog. I have not been sure how to say what's on my heart. It's been too big, too massive and we are still learning (I am not pregnant BTW)

The last 4 months or so have been a God-journey. I firmly believe He's led us along a path. And here we are, students and beginners but at least I feel we have our feet firmly on the road. We are learning to simplify. The word seems too small to capture all that it means. We are awake. Awake to our surroundings, the world and what lies beyond.

Simplify.

My word for 2012 but I think it's the word that will define me and my life for many years to come. It's so exciting, this new journey. We are listening and considering and praying and researching. My whole mind set has changed. This city dweller, apartheid child who only knew about happiness bound in consumerism and restrictions is learning. God is reforming my mind.

Our eyes are open and our ears hear. God is at work in our lives and I want to be on board. This is our chance to simplify and I don't want to miss it.

I feel like I have said it all and said nothing at the same time. Sorry. Maybe I am simplifying my words too, ha! I hope that it will unfold over time and make more sense...