Saturday, November 17, 2012

dry run

Yesterday we sisters had a dry run for when news is really bad.

I was driving home on a high after having coffee with friends. My middle sister calls. Have I been on facebook she asks? No, was my reply. She starts sobbing. This is posted on facebook by my aunt....

Ruth is having all sorts of tests done to precisely identify the type of cancer cell. Depending on what it is, she will have a course of medication preceding the actual chemotherapy. Chemo is being given to reduce production of fluid and relieve discomfort and pain. She has stage 4 cancer - terminal. All treatment from now on is given to keep her comfortable. But God ......... Thank you for your prayer support. Bless you.

This is NOT what we had been told. We had been told that my Mom's cancer is inoperable but we are hopeful that treatment will at the very least extend her life indefinately. But we had no reason to doubt this post. This is my Mom's big sister, who is a hospice nurse and spoke to my Mom the day before.

I try my Mom's phone, the friend who is with her (in hospital while they drain the fluid in her chest cavity) and my Dad. No-one answers their phone. To be honest, I freaked out.

My middle sister comes over to my house and we are faced with a horrible decision. Do we call our youngest sister and tell her what we have read to save her reading it cold? Or do we wait until we hear from my parents and hope that she wouldn't go onto facebook in the meantime? We decided we couldn't chance her reading it and I call her. It was awful.

While we spoke to my youngest sister my middle sister and I sat side by side on the couch. We leaned into one another and as we talked on the phone there was such solidarity. We were together facing a monster. It was horrible but we were together.

Eventually my Dad called and clarified the situation. My aunt had assumed a whole lot of stuff. It was the sweetest phone call. Yes, this is bad. Yes, it's life threatening. But we are in the fighting zone and believe that treatment can work! My Mom is NOT terminal. The end.

P.S. The coffee I has was with two amazing bloggers- Cat and Leonie. I felt like I had known them forever- they are fabulous. Real and kind and normal. If you can get to spend time with them, grab it with both hands!



Miriam said...

Still praying for you guys. Love, love, love xxxx

Cat said...

Oh Sammy
I can't believe it - what a horrid afternoon of emotions.
I'm glad our coffee brought you some joy for the day, although I did giggle at *normal* 'really? me? normal?'
you made me smile - thank you xxx
Keep on being you - you is amazing

Remaliah said...

Oh Sammy I'm praying for you!!

Simoney said...

Oh Sammy, what an awful thing to have happen :(
Thankyou God it was only a false alarm... love you loads

Neetz said...

Oh Sammy..I read your blog posts lately and my heart squeezes so hard ..... for you, and your family. We've had a bad run in our family lately too.. My sister in law is currently having chemo... my husbands lovely aunt has a brain cousin has just been told he has stomach cancer (which they've given a good prognosis though).. and now we're waiting on test results in the next couple of days to see what the lesions on my dads lung are exactly and what to do from here... I totally know the feelings/emotions etc you are facing right at this time..
I had been having investigations for a breast lump also, but my results on Friday showed I am clear (so thanks God!).
It hurts so much when your family is hurting or facing tough stuff doesnt it? ............ I'm so over bad health reports etc...
Keeping you guys in my prayers too xxx Juanita.

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