Friday, November 9, 2012

happy (not) birthday

Yesterday we got news that none of us expected. My mother is very ill. The cancer has returned and is inoperable.

Last Saturday my Mom left Rupi's birthday party early to got o the local hospital ER. She was in terrible pain and the doctors discovered a build of fluid in her chest cavity. Not unusual where a lung has been removed but unusual this far after chemo/ surgery. And tests indicated cancer in her chest cavity lining which is inoperable.

So officially the worst birthday of my life. But that fact shrank to insignificance in the shadow of what is happening. Instead of going out to celebrate last night my sisters gathered at our house with my parents and we battened down the hatches. We cried and talked and read scripture. It was where we needed to be.

We are reeling.

We face more chemo and treatment. It's different this time. This time it's not preventative but palliative. Not a word we are accepting right now but it does mean that this fight is serious.

So my friends, this blog may be a little cancer focused for a while. And even more than that- God focused. If this offends you, please accept my heartfelt apologies. But this is who I am and where I turn. I can't do this without my God, nor do I want to.

We stood on these verses a while ago. And they resonate with me again...

But mightier that the violent raging of the seas,
mightier than the breakers on the shore
The Lord is mightier than these
Your royal decrees cannot be changed
The nature of Your Reign, O Lord, is holiness forever. Psalm 93: 4-5



meg said...

I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news Sammy. Much love to you and your whole family. x

Miriam said...

Sammy I'm absolutely gutted for you. What a horrible heart wrenching thing to be told.
Going to send you an email but this is the verse I was reminded of when reading the one you put at the end
Surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Ps 32:6-7
Praying for you and your mama and your extended family xxxxx

Gail said...

I will stand with you and pray!
He IS mighty.


Leonie said...

Oh Sammy, I am so devastated for you. Much love to you and your family.
Will be praying for you all xx

Cat said...

Emailing you x

Elizabeth said...

Oh Sammy - there are no words... my heart is breaking with you and your sisters; and of course your Mum and Dad.

Keeping you all in my prayers...

tartankiwi said...

So so sorry to hear this heart breaking news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Cat said...

Oh Sammy I am so sorry to hear this news
so very very sorry
I stand with you sister in grief and sorrow prayers for peace and love
prayers that the way will be clear for you all
holding you close

love and light

Lyn said...

oh Sammy I am sitting here crying my eyes out as I read this. I walked this road with my best friend earlier this year. I don't know what to say except that I will be lifting your mum (and your family) up in prayer, I really will. Love, Lynmaree.

Nicole said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I know first hand that having a mother with cancer is a complex path to navigate. I hope your faith brings you guidance and peace so that you are able to support your family as well as deal with your own emotions. Love & Light XXX

Monica Williams said...

Dearest Sammy,
My heart is with you right now. I can well imagine how you are all feeling right now.
Lifting you and your precious mum up in my prayers too.

Leonie said...

So so sorry for you and your family Sammy - I pray that you all find strength and peace, comfort and love in God and each other during this time. Hugs x

Lyns said...

Oh Sammy...
Love and prayers for you and your family.

Neetz said...

Love... strength... I will keep you in my prayers... My family are going through this at the moment too..and I know how much of a heartache it all is. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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