Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Waiting for the Rain

I feel like I am waiting for God to say something to me (I know He's always talking but you know, something for me here and now). He's got something to say and I wanna hear it NOW. As you can tell I have learned a great deal about patience in my 6 year journey....

I am so hungry for the Word and feel like I am starved when I sit down to read my bible each morning. He's saying amazing stuff, read what he's been saying to Lena. Wow.

O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

I am searching for a new identity in this season. I am half of one season and half another. A foot in both camps. Infertile and a mother. I know how to be "pushing for break through girl" or "suffering girl" or "persevering girl" but do I know how to be "victory and yet needing breakthrough girl"? Nah.

Side note (not unusual as I am rather random at times- proudly so!) I heard Anne Rice on Focus on the Family this morning talking about some novels she has written from Jesus' viewpoint. His childhood and the time of going into ministry. They talked about how lonely Jesus must have been going into the desert to be tested. And how He went from the amazing high of being baptised and being lifted up by God the Father, to being tested alone, hungry and thirsty. And how alone he may have felt. Again, he gets us. Loneliness is a major part of infertility especially if you have walking through it for a while. Go Jesus, you are incredible (once again)

Boy am I thirsty for Him.

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Lena said...

Me too... I so want a breakthrough too! It's so hard to keep walking when you feel you have no clue as to what the outcome will be. It's hard to know where to put your hope- and keep on hoping no matter what comes of it.
I hope you find breakthrough and I hope God speaks toy our heart like never before! God is Good!

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