peaceful

The awesome foursome

And so, without fanfare, God brought us home. To a place of peace, of togetherness. God is so good to us.

We went to see our Fertility doctor last week. He's not any doctor, he's our doctor. He knows us and, I think, he loves us. He has known us for 7 long years. I designed his clinic and in that clinic Blossom was conceived. We have wept with him and rejoiced with him. He's OUR doctor.

We went to see him and started to talk. We explained that life is pretty good for us right now and we are facing a choice. A hard choice. He said two very wise things, this doctor of ours. He said not to expect to be happy with whatever choice we made. That this journey, this space was not a comfortable one. He was right. Nothing about this space is comfortable. Comfortable is making a baby at home in your bed. Uncomfortable is unable to conceive and needles and negative tests and all the rest. We are used to uncomfortable.

He also said that the choice we make is more than about us two. There are four of us now and we need to make choices that are good for four people.

So Dida talked about his decision. And our doctor said to us 'I am more than comfortable with that". The confirmation. The peace. We didn't need his approval but it really helped to solidify our position.

So (with Dida's permission I can say)...

We are using our embies. But we are not using drugs. We will do a natural cycle and replace them. The doctor says they don't know if the drugs help anyway so it's a good choice. It works for us, no disposal, ongoing storage or donation of our embies. They will be replaced at the right time and then it's up to them. And up to Him.

We are near the end of the road for us. Maybe closer than further away. Who knows, it's in His hands. So sometime round next May we'll give our embies a chance. If there is another Blossom there, we'll rejoice. If not, we'll grieve a little and move on. Finally move on. And that will be so good.