Good boy

My boy is often misunderstood. On the continuum of femininity vs masculinity, he is perched at the far end of the masculine side. There's nothing about him that is less than 100% masculine. He is tall and strong and testosterone charged. He expresses himself physically and wrestles, pushes and runs his way through life.

If Rupi was born 50 or 60 years ago, he would have been society's ideal. Being socially acceptable back them did not mean playing quietly with toys, or skipping gently alongside one's play mate. Back then being a boy was about climbing trees and riding helter skelter down a slope, swimming with abandon and coming inside for meals only.

He's polite and says please and thank you. But he may not always reply when spoken to or say good bye or give a cuddle upon request. He may also wrestle and shove more than is socially acceptable.

He's not "good".

And I am learning to be ok with that. We are realising that this world and the state it's in, requires people to be strong. Resolute and determined. It needs people who won't fall in with what is acceptable. People who challenge the status quo. Rupi is all that and more.

This post from Kelly's Korner made me feel like a million dollars. Her little girl is a lot like Rupi. And she is also learning to embrace and accept. She linked to this post too. I loved it. Good children are not always God-fearing. I want a God-lover child and that means he may be misunderstood and non-conforming.


Rupi is not a good boy. Amen for that.

Dairy free YUMMO Zucchini loaf

** My Mom is doing well, yippee! We are waiting for the biopsy results but she is doing so great. Her lone lung is a star!**

I baked this bit of yumminess today. It's diary free AND has a secret ingredient...zucchini/ courgettes! The kids had no idea and loved every bite. I am always after ways of getting more veggies into my non-veggie eater son. And after dairy free yummy recipes for Blossom.

This recipe was in a book my Mom and Dad gave me for Christmas and it has a few diary free/ veggie baking ideas. Carrot cake/ carrot and pecan slice/ sweet potato cake and this one. And when you look at how much sugar a bowl of cereal has in it, this is a relatively healthy alternative (with secret veggies, have I mentioned that??)

Zucchini bread (from "Bake" by Rachel Allen)

400g (14oz) plain flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp grouind cloves
300g (11oz) castor sugar
100g (3 1/2 oz) demerara sugar- I used plain brown sugar
3 eggs, beaten
200ml (7fl oz) sunflower oil.
2 tsp vanilla extract- I used vanilla essence
380g (13oz) courgettes, grated with skin on
75g (3oz) chopped walnuts- I used pecans and chopped them super fine.

Two 13x23cm (5 x 9in) loaf tins

Preheat oven to 150d C (300d F) Butter/ oil and flour tins.
In a large bowl sift in the flour, salt, bicarbonate of soda, baking powder and spices. Add both sugars and mix well.
Add the beaten eggs, oil, vanilla extract and grated courgettes to the dry ingredients and mix well until combined. Add the walnuts, mix in and divide between the two loaf tins.
Bake in oven for 1- 1 1/4 hours or until inserted skewer comes out clean. leave in tins to cool for 20 min and turn out onto a wire rack.
Serve on its own or toasted and buttered (with Olivani, our dairy free spread!)

Very little

Tonight a million scriptures are running through my head. I am prayed up but still a bit anxious. My Mom has her lung removed in the morning. She's scared. But what bothers me more is that my Dad is scared. He didn't say as much but he asked me to pray hard for my Mom and hugged me with a hard hug. I know him and that speaks volumes. I am a little freaked out.

I heard this morning in church that God likes us to be real. He takes what we have and makes it enough. Ok then. I am a bit scared. This situation didn't work out so well last time. It is different but the same enough to be very uncomfortable.

We need this to be ok. We need the surgeon to find everything contained in that lung. And we need him to find sweet nothing in the lymph nodes near the lung. Nothing but normal lymph node goodness.

So I have very little tonight. And I trust that it will be enough for Him and this will be ok.

No thank you

 Loving the "super Vivid color" setting on my camera!

I started my own business because I had to bring in some money. Rupi was about 7 months old and I needed to do something. We weighed up all the options and decided on my own design business. Mainly because having my own business meant that I could have the kids at home with home based care. In MY home. The kids would have almost unlimited access to me, excepting where I had a tight deadline or on a phone call. It's worked well so far, I like being my own boss.

**The phone call thing makes me laugh. I am SURE that most clients see through the "I am in the office professionally taking your call" ruse. Who am I kidding? Really. Until Christmas, I designed out of a corner of Blossom's room...**

Anyway, another benefit of my own business was the free time I would have. Cue very loud laughing. Again, who am I kidding? I nearly killed myself last year. Last year was so not fun. I worked like a dog for most of it. Late nights, weekends, early mornings. Anytime Dida was home and/ or the kids were asleep.

I am hoping this year will be more sane. I want to bake and sew and garden AND work. I like working, just not until I feel like I am exploding.

So I just said no to a big project.

The client wanted yet another proposal with more detail. We may not have got it, we were one of four companies presenting. But I talked to the guy I was teaming up with and we looked at the consequence of winning it. Insane program, crazy tight budget, big risks. Plus we are both independent consultants who have young families. The cost to our spouses and children was also too high. So we took a deep breath, gathered all our courage and said no thank you.

The first part of this year will be leaner financially. But that's ok. We just need to make the adjustments. It will be richer in time. Richer in home making. Richer, much much richer.

So yesterday in celebration we all did nothing. For ages. We drank coffee (those of us over 3 years old), ate popcorn, sat on Mama (those of us under 3 years old) and enjoyed the sun. Richer!

slice of heaven

It's back to work this week *sigh*. I want to stay on holiday forever. Anyway, here we are and this is going to be a GREAT week. Or else.

We spent the last week of the holidays up in Matheson Bay. It's gorgeous. Just over an hour out of Auckland and a million miles away from the big smoke. It's got so much going for it and loads to do. We will definitely be back!

Nesting

With so much packed into our lives some things took a back seat in 2011. Like the house and its upkeep. So we have spent the first two weeks of our holiday nesting. And it's been glorious!

We have...

• Changed the bedrooms around to give me a whole room as an office. To be honest, it was getting too be a bit of a joke, running a business from Blossom's bedroom. Now I have one entire (albeit small!) room to myself. And the kids are sharing a room which is going really well.
• Figured out my new apple computer. Changing from a windows based pc to an apple was a nightmare involving setting up a virtual machine within the mac to accommodate my really expensive windows based programs. Are your eyes blazed over yet???
• Concreted a path.
• Made new veggie gardens.
• Fixed the trailer so it's now legal to tow it, ha!
• Tidied and organized the pantry. Bliss.
• Sorted out all my fabric and purged.
• Fixed the kitchen tap.
• Did the GST for the company.
• And finally made the kids bean bags. I have only had the pattern and fabric for about 9 months. It was the first time I bought a non-professional pattern. This one was by Made- Dana Made It. Assembling the pattern of off A4 PDFs was a bit tricky as was figuring out the seam allowances. Plus it was hit and miss as to how much stuffing to buy as all references are to American stuffing. But her directions were super clear and easy to follow and they are done! The kids love them which is so gratifying...

We are off on holiday soon, holiday away from the house that is. So I will have to stop and rest. A good thing I think!

Hello 2012

Welcome 2012! I am convinced you will be a year filled with more. More than enough. More mercy. More break through.

I have no list of things I want/ need to do or resolutions. This year I just want to be. Be closer to Him. Be closer to my little ones and my wonderful big one. Just be.

2012 is already filled with challenges. My Mom has surgery late this month for her tumor. But by faith, already there is more. This is a primary cancer (so not from somewhere else- like a melanoma. So it's a lone ranger) and it's not aggressive or fast growing. More, see? More curse turned to blessing. More. He is more than able. He is More.