Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Good boy

My boy is often misunderstood. On the continuum of femininity vs masculinity, he is perched at the far end of the masculine side. There's nothing about him that is less than 100% masculine. He is tall and strong and testosterone charged. He expresses himself physically and wrestles, pushes and runs his way through life.

If Rupi was born 50 or 60 years ago, he would have been society's ideal. Being socially acceptable back them did not mean playing quietly with toys, or skipping gently alongside one's play mate. Back then being a boy was about climbing trees and riding helter skelter down a slope, swimming with abandon and coming inside for meals only.

He's polite and says please and thank you. But he may not always reply when spoken to or say good bye or give a cuddle upon request. He may also wrestle and shove more than is socially acceptable.

He's not "good".

And I am learning to be ok with that. We are realising that this world and the state it's in, requires people to be strong. Resolute and determined. It needs people who won't fall in with what is acceptable. People who challenge the status quo. Rupi is all that and more.

This post from Kelly's Korner made me feel like a million dollars. Her little girl is a lot like Rupi. And she is also learning to embrace and accept. She linked to this post too. I loved it. Good children are not always God-fearing. I want a God-lover child and that means he may be misunderstood and non-conforming.

Rupi is not a good boy. Amen for that.

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jacksta said...

good is overrated.
I aim for "compliance".
As in "I have asked you to do something child..So you need do it"

Gail said...

Hey friend! Wouldnt the world be less interesting without kids who have character ? I love your stress on the importance being on him - and all of our kids really- having a heart for God! Being "good" is great for the short term but in the long run its our heart that counts.
And if life was all.about being "good" well, i would have been left behind at 11.
G ♥

Simoney said...

So sad how our society has become so feminised to the point where little boys are scolded for just being who they are.
I wouldn't say Rupi is "not good"...
I'd say he's a wonderful active little lad bursting with energy...
I'll bet that the only people who would not understand this will fall into one of the following categories:
> People with one child (only children tend to have to be little adults from a young age)
> People with only girls
> People who are so old they have forgotten what it was like to have energy (or children)
> People who have never had any children at all and still think they will be the perfect mother/father when they do

They rest of us wouldn't even blink at Rupi's antics... cos we know its NORMAL and HEALTHY!!!
Love you and your gorgeous family and when you get a minute, squeeze us in OK???

Shelby said...

I have one, too! Don't all families need at least one who bursts through the mold society wants to press them in? These little boys are going to be the world changers, we just have to figure out how to channel all that energy and desire to buck the system. I want my son to follow God with as much "force" as he does everything else...if he does, then wow - the world better watch out, he is going to make a huge dent in the complacency and apathy of modern Christiandom. It is awesome you can recognize this early on. Still not easy to raise them though, I often feel really sad for Graham and think he should have been born 50 years ago, on a farm. But, God put him here, now for a reason. I just pray I can raise him the way God wants me to, and that we all survive! :)

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