Homegrown

We've been going to our church for 11 years. 11 years! We started going along as I was desperate for something like the church my sister then attended in South Africa. Alive, vibrant, multi-cultural, Spirit led and more.

God met my wish list and then some with Equippers. I am constantly amazed at how much our church fits us or we fit it. We just "get" our church and know that our church gets us.

We have had good times. Dida's salvation, both of our baptisms and the children's dedications. We had endless love and support during our years of waiting for Rupi. We have friendships that inspire and amaze us. We are loved and love in return.

There have also been rough times. Not bad times, just a rough patch. It was when Dida transitioned from working full time for church into the secular workforce again. Relationships morphed and changed and we had to figure out a whole lot of things. But God used that time to free us from the fear of man and to teach us about relationships.

I love two things about our church. One is how accepting they are. That acceptance is set from the top. And we have a pretty amazing "top"- an amazing wife/ husband team who lead our church. Dida and I don't fit the mould, well, there is no mould to fit really. I am unusual. A mother and business woman. I don't see many women like me at church. But I know that my God-given call is supported and accepted. I don't run a coffee group or help with a children's music group. I am different. And totally accepted.

The second thing I love is our homegrown talent. We attract world reknown speakers. People that blow your mind. But the best we have is at home. Our senior pastor is doing a series at the moment and it's revelation. God-inspired revelation. This man truly hears from God. Every time he speaks, I hear the quiet still voice of God. And he's ours! Equippers bred & homegrown. Yessah!

If you are ever in town come along and visit! We'll have coffee (of course) before the service then hold onto your seat. Our church rocks.


Disclaimer: If you go to church I am sure your church is awesome too, hehe!

Gather round

To my wonderful bloggy friends

Please can we gather round and welcome Deborah? I know about her through my sister and she has started a blog (best thing ever!). Deborah is a child of Jesus' and is suffering from depression. She sounds like she's pretty much at the end of her rope.

Simoney, I left her a comment and maybe you could get her onto your special blog?

Thank you lovelies, she really needs a bit of our amazing community's TLC.

Murphy's Law

You know how you feel like death and then on the way to the doctor you suddenly feel so much better? Like you shouldn't really trouble the doctor at all... or have taken the time off work?

I had the equivalent today.

Blossom woke up howling from her afternoon nap. Inconsolable. She would only be held in one position- me standing with her vertical on my chest. Then she would reduce the howling to a wail. To be resumed the instant I moved.

After half an hour of this I was due to to get Rupi up from his nap and had no idea how I was going to survive the remainder of the afternoon. I had a quick think (because I need to be DESPERATE for the next step) and called Dida. "Come home please. Now. No, now. This minute please" were my words to the background screaming. He canceled 500 things he had to do and started driving home.

He texted me "5min away" Thank you Jesus I thought. And at that instant Blossom stopped howling, disengaged herself from my body and toddled over to watch the DVD I had put on for Rupi.

????!!!!!!?????

Dida arrived home to two quiet children and a wife who could not stop explaining that really Blossom was going crazy. Just a minute ago, I promise. Seriously.

Doesn't help that Dida was extremely busy at work.....

However, I am super glad he was home early. Blossom really is not well and having the extra pair of hands was amazing. Still, why couldn't she have cried for just 5 min more? I feel like a bit of a trickster!

Blah

Well this little bunny is walking now! It's the cutest bow legged stagger you ever saw. She's determined to walk and marches her way around the house in search of exciting things to destroy.



But she's in the middle of another massive allergic attack. The full gamut of symptoms- wheezing, coughing, diarrhoea, puffiness etc etc. Blah. I shouldn't have taken her to church this morning, she was very unhappy and it was awful for all of us. Well, all of us adults and her. Rupi had a great time in children's church! So not a wasted trip at all thinking about it.

The confusing thing is that Blossom's skin prick tests have come back clear for all food allergies (dairy, soy, eggs, gluten and shell fish). From what I can gather from the blood test results, they are clear too.

What the heck????!!!!!

We just don't get it. She is definitely better on dairy free, so we think. So what one earth is she reacting to?

Dida's new train of thought is dust mites. This latest attack came on after he vacuumed yesterday with her in the room. She's normally out when the house gets cleaned. She was fine yesterday morning and then in the afternoon morphed into allergic girl with every symptom under the sun.

I know that there are much worse things that she could have. But it's so hard to watch your little girl in distress. Blah. We are back to the doctor this week for some advice and hopefully some answers.

Trying not to be blah over this. I am praying & believing for healing. Our God is the God of mercy and by Jesus' stripes we are healed. Claiming that!

Ode to my Blossom

Have I mentioned how brave my small girl is? Braver than her mother that's for sure. This was pointed out to me by Dida. True.

She has needed some blood tests to try and see what the heck she's reacting to. So there's been a long list of blood needing to be drawn and a skin prick test to do. And have I ever mentioned (maybe 400 times or so) that I am needle phobic? Maybe something to do with having about a million needles poked in me over the last couple of years.

So getting my little girl with tiny chubby arms to the clinic have been quite a trial. My Mom came to the rescue and came along on Friday. Turns out they only did the skin prick test as the whole caboodle would have been too much in one go. And she didn't even cry through it all. And yes, I (shamefully) did.

Dida took her along on Sat for the actual blood draws and she was so brave. She did cry but it didn't last long. She came home with a tiny plaster on one small chubby arm and pointed it out to me. Cute face.

Hats off to you my sweet Blossom!

Pocket

Rupi and I have a small pocket of space together each day where we are totally alone while Blossom is asleep. It absolutely rocks. I get him up from his midday nap and we snuggle together on the couch for a while. Then we generally do something together like read a book or do a puzzle or chat or act the fool like this (our usual choice!)....








I love this time together. And I am keen to do the same with Blossom. How do you make time for each of your kiddies? Please share with this (relative) newbie!

Cuzzies (kiwi for cousins..)

We hadn't seen the cuzzies for ages (due to my extreme work load) so decided to get together on Sunday afternoon. Wonderful idea. The ideas went downhill from that moment of inspiration.

We decided to meet at a mall. On a Sunday afternoon. They have a play area so the kids could play and we could have coffee and catch up. Nice idea but flawed somewhat. The success of this plan depended on several things. Well, two things. Our kids and other kids. And neither played ball.

Rupi was in a push-bash mood. He hasn't had one of these for MONTHS. But pulled out all the stops to show us that this behaviour was still in his repertoire. Then the pay area was occupied by very sensitive children and their very protective parents. Oil and water.

We had a quick confab and decided to evacuate the area before we were lynched. We walked up the mall with out bouncing, shouting (mine) offspring and found a Bob the builder play thing. The kids descended on it like a swarm of bees.















After ice cream with accompanying tantrums (not mine this time thank goodness) we decided on one more short playtime. Just because we like to be tortured. And this photo honestly describes the outing to a T.









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Lost

And found! I am still here. But I have been busy. Very very busy. Every waking hour (that I am not being Mama or wife) busy.

I won a big project with a super tight program. Lovely and super stretching. Having my own business means that I can't delegate anything. Nothing. At all. So I am relearning old skills. Like photoshop. I spent ALL of last weekend creating these (Judge not ye of many photoshop skills...)








Anyhoo. They did the job and the client loves the concept. Sold. Now we are drawing. Well, I am not actually drawing. It's the first project where I have hired others to do the draughting. Big steeeeeep learning curve for Mrs Control Freak here.

I am getting there and it's just a short season. I will be more regular soon. Now that sounds bad doesn't it????

Our God-given right

This is one of those posts. It's going to make some people uncomfortable. Sorry in advance but my opinion is based on what I have lived. My testimony.

People are constantly telling us how amazing we are in this adoption thing. And we are far from amazing. We have just seen the impact of not doing adoption this way first hand. And as we love our little boy to distraction we want to save him pain.

We have an open adoption. And it seems, a very open one. Open adoption is not a choice here in NZ as it is elsewhere. It's how it is. The truth is that initially an open adoption is far harder on the adoptive parents. A closed adoption is easier to start your life as parents with. But it's not what is best for the child. And long term an open adoption is far easier for everyone.

Adoption runs like a thread through Dida's family. His granddad was adopted as was his father. His grandmother fell pregnant when she was 17 years old and grandad raised her daughter Anna*, as his own. In turn Anna fell pregnant when she was also 17 years old and was forced to give her daughter, Celia*, up for adoption. ALL of these adoptions were closed. ALL of these adoptions have caused immeasurable pain to the WHOLE extended family.

Take Anna for example. Every time we see her she seeks me out. And talks with tears running down her face. Of finding her birth daughter again, of how Anna's adoptive mother is hostile, of the fact that she didn't find her own birthfather until it was too late. On and on, the pain spins out. Then when she can't talk anymore she always turns and looks at Rupi. And asks about Sweetpea, when we last saw her, how she's doing. She relives it all in a good way through our adoption. She says it heals her.

Then there's Celia, Anna's daughter. Anna and Celia found each other when Celia was 35 years old. Celia's Mom would not help her. Anna is desperate for any contact with Celia. She says to me that she will take whetever she can get. I understand Celia's Mom's fear. Of how threatened she feels. Selfishly I want to demystify Sweetpea. Make her a natural part of our lives. So there isn't this massive and undeniable need to seek her out. So that she is available and the relationship is a natural one that grows and develops alongside ours.

And lastly there's my Da, my beloved father-in-law. Who's adoption caused him such pain. His birth mother found him as an adult and would visit him occasionally. These visits were so traumatic for him, even as a grown man, that my mother-in-law would find in a foetal position on the bed afterwards. Sobbing.

Closed adoption is not cool. And I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I believe it's our God given right to know our biological heritage.

Dida and I are are not doing our open adoption because we are incredible selfless human beings. We are doing it because to NOT to do it, would be unbelievably cruel to our son.

Something to remember...

There are degrees of open-ness and each family needs to judge what is good for them. If Sweetpea was a drug addict or Rupi was a result of a rape, things would be very different. We are totally blessed that Sweetpea (and J of course as the birth dad) are wonderful people and our family cultures are similar.

So please. If you or anyone you know is adopting, talk to them about an open adoption. Refer them to my blog or email me. Thank you so much xxx

* Not their real names

Beautiful road trip

We had a wonderful weekend! We went to the town that Rupi was born in, to spend a night with his birth mother and birth grandparents. We've been ready to do this for a while, but Sweetpea (Rupi's birthmom) has had a hard road recently and being in her space would have been a bit much for her.

It was plain lovely. We have got the place where it's like visiting extended family- you are welcomed, loved and spoilt. It was easy. And that is saying something. The sheer volume of differing emotions- grief, joy, pain and wonder all existing in the same space for the different people involved, makes an adoption complex. So for everyone to be in a place where its easy and just flows, is a testiment to God's healing and grace.

We had fun. The kids were crazy and indulged. Love it. There were some very special moments too. One was meeting Sweetpea's grandmother. The last time she saw Rupi was when he had just been born. Apparently she just sat and held Rupi close for hours. So it was very emotional for her to see him again. And very healing.

Another special moment was taking Rupi down to his birth grandfathers music studio. It's easy to see where Rupi gets his love of guitars from! The two of them played and tried out the guitars and I am not sure who was happier!!

Another crazy moment was meeting one half of a special couple in an indoor kids playground. This couple were the first people Sweetpea approached with regard to adopting Rupi. They ended up saying no, and so the door opened for us. God is amazing at how Rupi's life is a web of His connections and divine timings. This couple now have the cutest button of a girl and it was a sheer joy to bring Rupi and Blossom over to the hubbie and introduce them. God amazes me!

On Sunday morning we went and had brunch at the cafe Sweetpea works at. I loved going into her world. Rupi was like a small king this weekend and Blossom was the queen. I love how Blossom is also loved by the birth families. She is seen as important too and both sides of the birth families work hard to include and love her. How great is that??!!??

This is how it should be and what we've prayed for. An ease and a peace around the relationships. We can't wait to go back down and visit again!