Dear me

Us in 2001

It's no secret that I am forever changed by infertility. That 6 year journey was life changing. I don't think that I did it "well" or "had it together" and I think that's part of my journey. I was brought to my knees by infertility and by the time Rupi came, I was shattered emotionally and spiritually. That has humbled me incredibly and I think that's part of His Purpose for me.

I struggled with hope a lot. Trying to be faith filled and hope time and time again. I eventually stopped hoping and dreaming and had to learn how to dream again once Rupi came.

This last weekend I did Beth Moore's live simulcast day. It was beyond awesome. So much spoke to me including a line in a worship song we sang. We sang "His Word secures my Hope".

I wish I could put my arms around the me in the months before Rupi came and tell me this. Tell that me to go back to the first word He spoke and hold onto it. That His Word would secure my hope. That I didn't need to try and hold on. He would secure me.

This was one of the first scriptures I ever got for my future. Back in 1998, way before we started on the journey of trying for a child, I got a promise.

Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your altar, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God! Psalm 84: 2-4

I lost sight of that first promise in the long wait. I was always looking for the next word to suit the latest challenge. But that first promise was all I needed. Because He did secure my hope. I am living the promise I got all those years ago. We are raising our young near His alter and life is very sweet. Very sweet indeed!

Switched on

The power cable to our house blew bright and early on Sat morning. I was out the whole day and so poor Dida coped with the lot. At one stage he was on the phone to the electrician with Blossom in the cot screaming, Reuben running wild outside in the rain and at the same time trying to hand a power cord over the fence to a neighbour. Drama.

The power company checked the power to the road. All good. And the switchboard in the house is fine too. Which means the fault was somewhere between the road and the house.....which has a fat concrete driveway in the way.

So Dida got to work. He is incredible in emergencies. Those close to us already have plans in place to come to our place in case of a natural disaster. He is like Bear Grylls (without eating the gross things!) and much better looking.

Yesterday morning he had an electrician scanning the driveway looking for the underground fault. And found it. 10cm away from the edge of the driveway- woop! Dida and one of his workers spent the afternoon cutting a trench around the blown cable. This meant cutting and moving a giant tree out the way. I stayed inside warm and dry and made them cups of coffee. Essential work.

Today they finished off the trench and the electrician came back to replace the cable. The power company flicked the switch again and we now have power. Bliss.

Who knew how essential power could be. Oh yes, most of Christchurch does. I am NOT complaining about the experience at all. We had a power cord to the neighbours on either side so we had limited power. We picked and chose what appliances get power and it's not been too cold. We do not have a house with cracks and holes through the middle of winter and no power at all- like people in Christchurch did. We were ok.

But I am REALLY glad to have power back. Ahhhh electricity, I ♥ you.

blogging thoughts

More on the blogging, I seem to be in some kind of blog-analysis mode....

I would like to ask a question.... why do we read the blogs of people we'll never meet, will never relate to us and never be our bloggy friends?

I guess it comes down to why you blog. I blog for the sheer joy of it and, as I think I am discovering, to meet new people.

"Meeting new people" means that there needs to be some kind of interaction going. I am all for joining up with the occasional linky as I met Mountain Mama, Shelby and Jennohara that way. But we became bloggy mates. I like them and they like me.

I just got a bit over it all last night. Over reading blogs and leaving comments for people who will never know I exist. It's not like I am craving recognition or wanting attention but it's just a tad tiresome. Like trying to be friendly and meeting a brick wall. Now I know that some bloggers have 40 million followers and can't reply to all the comments, but it kinda sucks to be commenting into fresh air. Some people I really like, well like how they are on their blog and would like to be bloggy friends. Oh the rejection!!!! (kidding, it just irks me!)

I am not talking about reading those blogs of people who you admire but from a distance. I follow a few of those. People who inspire/ interest/ fascinate me. But I don't want to interact with them. So I rarely comment and just enjoy their blogs. Anyone understand what I am saying or do I sound like a lunatic?

I think I blog because I love it. And loving it for me means that I need interaction. So I am culling a whole lot from my reader and un-Following a whole lot. Obviously none of you as you are reading this, HA!

And if YOU comment and I don't comment back, let me know. I try to comment back and be friendly to everyone who comments. I figure, if you have made the effort...!

So yes, blogging is complicated and sometimes a little wearying.....

What do you think?

Sharing

How much do you share on your blog? Specifically about your family and kiddies? I read something this week that make me think about that question...

It was an adoption linky post and when I clicked onto one of the adoption blogs featured I read something that made me pause. A mom shared about her adoption. She shared that she struggled to love the little girl she had adopted as much as her biological children. And the kicker for me was that she said that she still struggles to love her and it's a daily choice to choose to love her.

I am not judging this lady at all. What she feels is what she feels. She's being honest. But. And a huge BUT. There is a possibility that her little girl will read those words one day. Is that ok? Imagine reading that your Mom struggled to love you for a long time? Even if it's true, should they ever know it? A child's self worth is determined to a degree by how secure they feel in their parent's love.

It just made me think about how much we should share. And whether we have a responsibility to our children to write carefully about them. To be mindful of the fact that one day they, or people they know, may read the words I write about them.

Wow. Food for thought.

Backing Black

It's so good to be a Kiwi right now! We are hosting the Rugby World Cup and it seems like the whole world is here. There are flags on cars and houses and we are feeling utterly patriotic. I just think it's wonderful to be united by something other than war. This is our national sport and we love it!

For all of you non-rugby people out there, here's an explanation.
...

Rugby union, often simply referred to as rugby, is a full contact team sport which originated in England in the early 19th century.^[2] One of the two codes of rugby football, it is based on running with the ball in hand. It is played with an oval-shaped ball on a field up to 100 metres (330 ft) long and 70 metres (230 ft) wide with H-shaped goal posts on each goal line.

And here is the greatest team in the world- the mighty All Blacks! [And yes, because we dress in black!]



C'mon Black!!!!

So anyway, Auckland is putting on a party for the World Cup and all the visitors. We decided on the spur of the moment to go down to the waterfront on Saturday morning. This was the morning after the opening ceremony and the first game (which the All Black's won, thank you muchly)

The waterfront was a disaster zone the night before when 200,000 people descended on the area to party and celebrate. The city authorities were expecting 60,000. A slight shortfall in planning. Public transport failed and it was a mess. People missed the game and were very hot and bothered. When we arrived on Saturday morning bright and early there was a full scale clean up in place and the waterfront was being restored.

We had a wonderful time. I am biased but Auckland is lovely! We ate ice creams and wandered around all the new development and World Cup temporary structures. Rupi loved watching the boats and running everywhere. He also fell down multiple times and we resolved to start packing a first aid kit. Blossom charmed the public at large and the sun shone and life was good!

Please note that the explanation of the photos below is mostly for Gail. It won't make much sense to anyone else and I thought she might like to know the ins and outs. And I love her....

The newly developed North Wharf on Wynyard Quarter- where the fuel tanks containers used to be...

Walking towards the new bridge connecting the Viaduct to North Wharf (where Rupi fell about 1ooo times and scraped every inch of his knees)

Party Central on Queen's wharf (beside the ferry)- in front of the temporary "Cloud" structure

Blossom being super cute walking back on Queen's Wharf towards Quay Street.

At the entry to Queen's wharf

May I say one more time...GO THE ALL BLACKS!!

toothless

Rupi had his tooth removed yesterday. It was such a blessing, we got an appointment with the public health system on the SAME day we were booked in for the private surgery. Woop! God is good!

We arrived at the hospital at 8.30am with no food or drink on board. Fun times. After 35 endless minutes (in which I gave up on trying to control my hungry thirsty and grumpy small child) we were assessed. We then waited in a fantastic kids play area until we went into theatre. The nurses and doctors were great with Rupi and really involved the parent/ caregiver in the whole procedure.


Theatre was hideous. Rupi took one look at the staff and bed and tried to throw himself back out the door. I had to hold him facing me while the mask was held on his face. He screamed and I cried. Eventually after what felt like hours his eyes rolled back and they laid him down out cold. They shuffled me out the door weeping. Awesome. I was shown to the waiting room where all the other weeping mothers were. I admit I hugged more than one of them.


I could hear Rupi come round from the aneasthetic from the waiting room a short while later. The nurses hurriedly invited me in. Once I got him in my arms and he had a popsicle in his hand, things improved. The bellowing stopped for one thing which was a relief for the whole ward.


We were discharged a short while later with a list of instructions. These included not letting go of his hand as we walked to the car as he would still be a little off balance. Clearly Rupi did not take this on board and was off running as we left the ward. So I carried all protesting and wriggling 20kg of him back to the car. Who cares, I figure, people would have seen a lot worse.

The experience was great. Faultless. The nurses and staff and doctors were amazing. Could not get better. But I admit I am used to continuity of care. The same nurse or doctor seeing you all the way through making sure you are happy and ok. Here you are passed from one person to another, seeing different people/ staff all the way through. I felt like a number and to be honest we were a number. The staff had a list of children they needed to get through and we were one of many.

Having said that, we did not pay one cent for our treatment. Not one. So not being treated like royalty is just fine with me. Different but fine. Like I have said before, our public health system is incredible with children.

So thanks whoever! I would like to write to someone and thank them, but who? I am so grateful, thanks New Zealand!!!

dreaded d-word

So I have been on the Dukan diet for 44 days now. It's been rough people.

*For those of you not interested please feel free to tune out with my love and blessings. Diet talk is not for everyone.*

I thank the good Lord above (seriously) that my sister has been on it with me. We have been able to support each other and eat all sorts of protein and funny stuff. For example a cheesecake that you could throw against a wall and it would bounce back at you. Or a muffin that looked like some kind of fluffy mould that you would find under a fridge.

You gotta be commited for this and have a goal in mind. Mine is my rather large *cough* birthday in November. To look good then I would do this and more. Vain? Oh yes.

So anyway, it's been a LOOOOOOONG 43 days so far. I have lost two thirds of the weight I want to lose and can fit into my clothes with ease again. Yay a million times. I have not missed a lot but miss chocolate like my arm is cut off. We have never been separated for this long before.

Moving on....

My point is that this diet is well worth it. I thoroughly recommend it. And no, I still do not have the book and have just used the spreadsheet and website. Easy and cheap. Suits me!

Loving all sorts!

linking up with amazing PJ

Loving a variety of things this week...

♥ Our health system

Rupi loves Toy Story. Rupi loves Buzz Lightyear. And like Buzz Lightyear, has discovered that he cannot actually fly. And in the process of discovering this has fallen, hit a chair with his mouth and pushed a dear little bottom tooth down and out. Ouch.


It got infected (of course) and now has to be removed. And because Rupi is only 2 years old he needs to be knocked right out to do it. Nice. We investigated doing this privately and quickly came to the conclusion that the public health system was as good although he may wait a bit longer for the procedure. The health system with regards to kiddies is second to none. As an adult, maybe not so much? But kids are treated like royalty and we are loving that.

♥ Dairy free, gluten free baking

Finally got some done. Tweaked the heck out of a recipe and added/ substituted all sorts. All I can say is that as Blossom is not used to eating baked goods, I am sure this will be just fine with her. Loving that she gets to eat some chocolate banana cake!


♥ My husband

Creating a strawberry patch for us. Working hard and also gently teaching a very small man how to use power tools. Loving him so much and thankful for a wonderful husband and amazing Daddy to our little ones.



♥ Sweetpea's birthday

Rupi's birth mother is 18 years old tomorrow. We have known her since she was 14 years old... crazy! I tend to give her the same present over and over, a picture of Rupi in a frame. Feels a bit like I am being a lazy present picker. But then this IS her favourite gift as is evidenced by the million pictures of Rupi in her bedroom and every single frame we have ever given her on display. So I do feel like we are giving her what she wants after all!



We love Sweetpea SO much!

♥ The All Blacks & the rugby world cup

Go, go, go!!! My MIL got the kiddies some appropriate rugby clothing and they are rocking it. We can't wait to see the All Blacks win! C'mon New Zealand!!!!