The journey through adoption and egg donor babies has taught me a lot. It's humbled me but mostly the journey makes me nicer. It forces nice-ness into me, which is a really good thing. Left by myself I am not that nice (think self absorbed, anti social and controlling to name a few vices)
I had the opportunity to grow nicer this week. Yes, am marginally nicer than when I started the week. Thanks God.
J's Mom calls (Rupi's birth grandmother). J is up visiting and has been up for the last week. He is leaving to go back to where he lives the next morning so can we make a bbq that night. She explains that they have been really busy with family so didn't call sooner.
Not so nice me (pre the work God did on me) thinks the following. IS Rupi not family? WHY are we called at the last possible moment and expected to drop everything to go over to see them? ARGH. I said I would think about what we could do and call back.
I had the self protection course that night and was going in with my sister. She would probably not go if I backed out. Dida was/ is sick and not up to taking two small terrors out on his own. I called Dida and vented. He is super wise and said the following "think about what is best for Rupi and do that".
Ah, Godly wisdom from my gem of a husband. It immediately took the "me" out of the situation and I could think. What was best for my boy? Not for J, his Mom or me. Him. Pure and simple. It was best for him to see J. He's 3 years old and remembers things. Lots of things. We need to store good memories whenever we can, regardless of how we feel and how inconvenient it is. My boy is worth it.
So Dida came home early and took over Blossom duty. Rupi and I went to visit J in the late afternoon. We stayed for about an hour and it was good. It was long enough for J to connect with him, spoil him and play with him. For them to bond some more. They laid down another row of bricks in the foundation of their relationship. It was the best choice for my son.
And I was happy too. Seeing Rupi laughing and playing equals happy Sammy. And I put "me" aside and grew a teeny bit nicer. Which will be welcome news to those that love me!