Monday, May 16, 2011
Parenting Rupi has been a roller coaster. Given his start in life we have been super careful about a lot of things that relate to attaching and bonding. We have been reluctant to push him out of the nest in any way, preferring to let him experience life when he feels ready. This has been hard for those around us and us at times.
He's not an "open arms wide" kind of person. He's reserved and his love is hard won. But once won, it's there to stay. You are invited into this special world where love is given by the bucketful. You are preferred and chosen.
We have talked endlessly about this seemingly spirited little man. Who contradicts the meaning of spirited at the same time as matching it's description. We have puzzled and prayed. Tested and adapted and tried again. There has been a lot of confusion and frustration and time spent on our knees.
Then suddenly it all made sense.
I was at my parents church rocking Blossom in their big cafe area. There was a wall of books for sale. I wondered over and started reading the backs of them. This book leapt out at me... Is your child moody, sensitive, compassionate, imaginative and stubborn? YES! All the words describe Rupi exactly. It was like a light shone from heaven and I saw hope. Dramatic but true.
Rupi can be described as a Dreamer child. Highly sensitive and imaginative. Moody and very compassionate. Seemingly spirited as he can be very focused but only in some things. He's big picture. He doesn't follow rules which makes discipline frustrating and interesting.
This book has been amazing. Mostly so encouraging as we have (with His help) done things the way Rupi needs them done. It has helped me understand my little boy and explained a lot of his behaviour. It has also been incredibly encouraging in the area of adoption. Rupi does not behave the way he does because of his adoption at birth, it's just the way he was made.
Dreamers are amazing. So creative. And we see that already. And incredibly imaginative. We have to call him Simba as he loves the Lion King and re-enacts all sorts of scenes. I have to call Blossom "Nala" and I am "Mama Lion". Rupi physically acts parts of the movie while watching it and will only respond to us if we call him Simba.
He's stubborn and often will not obey. We have to vary the different types of discipline with him as one type does not work all the time. He's very compassionate and loving. He's a Dreamer child! It's fantastic to get a glimmer of understanding about our precious first born.
**Disclaimer: no child fits into a box. No child can be defined exactly. We are made in His Image and each is different and unique. But we need help parenting! And sometimes definitions, if applied loosely, can help immeasurably. The end.**
P.S. We got a mention on BlueLily's blog- *shriek*! I die.