My Christmas gift

God is amazing. His mercy to us is abounding. This last week I have been carrying a burden that's grown heavier by the day. And to be honest if the burden was not lifted I would not be sharing. Who wants to be a Christmas joy stealer? Not me.

They found a shadow on my Mom's lung about a week and a half ago. An ugly shadow that was found after some routine bloodtests came back all wrong. The shadow concerned the specialists so much that they ran a series of very intrusive tests this week. And they met with my parents late this afternoon.

This week has been so bad. I have believed and prayed with all my might. My God is more than able. But in the early hours I have been waking, fighting the fear that I will lose my beautiful mother.

So.

My Mom will need a lung removed as the shadow is indeed a malignant cancer. But. And such a blessed-Christmas-gift BUT, it is contained. Contained within that lung. Thank you God. Thank you so much. My Mom faces major surgery that will take months to recover from. That's huge. But her life expectancy is normal without that lung.

This is the best Christmas gift to me. We face big challenges early next year but there's a positive outcome to embrace this Christmas. I thank God from the bottom of my heart for my incredible mother.

Merry Christmas indeed!

Ho ho ho

Well hello and merry Christmas to you!

I am at last at the end of a week verging on the insane. For the first time my ever supportive husband said 'I am sick of your work". Yikes. The holiday has come just in time.

So anyway.

I am eating carbs (bagel crisps to be exact) with dip and celebrating finishing for the year. There are 30 million loose ends to be tied with work but actually I can't finish them. And if I do I may get divorced so not a hard choice, ha!

Oh and I am now a red head! I had my colours done this week and so changed my hair colour to match my skin/ eyes etc. The hairdresser chose this colour, not sure what I think just yet. Dida likes it which has amazed me. I still shock myself when I see my reflection in a mirror so the jury is out!


Rupi has realised that Santa (or Zanta as he calls him) will bring him presents. He also believes that it's because of Baby Jesus' birthday so we are cool with it. He's into Baby Jesus who gets to be "in the boat" with Rupi along with the entire nativity cast and stable...


I have found time to make some Christmas goodies which makes me feel so much better. My little helper was wonderful...



When not destroying the living area. The energy level has gone up a notch since he turned 3 years old. I did not think that was possible. I was mistaken, ha!



And all the while, little Miss Precious makes me so grateful for Jesus and His break through power and mercy.


Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday baby Jesus!

the good and the bad

This last week brought two things I have waited 10 years to do. Ever since we started trying for children I have thought about doing these things. One was enjoyable and the other gave me a heart attack....

The good one was Rupi's preschool concert. Oh my. It was a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e. ADORABLE. 30 little people dressed up as angels or shepherds, attempting to sing. It was tuneless, half of them weren't singing and a couple were having tantrums. It was perfect in every way.




The bad was Blossom splitting open her chin and a visit to the emergency room. Yuck. They glued it shut which amazed me. So the scarring will be minimal apparently. The actual gluing was an experience- they wrapped her up like a mummy and two doctors, a nurse and me all held her down and did it. The noise was incredible, that girl can scream. She was just fine afterwards, I needed a stiff drink.



So I can cross two things off my pre kiddie list. Thanks God!

Nicer

The journey through adoption and egg donor babies has taught me a lot. It's humbled me but mostly the journey makes me nicer. It forces nice-ness into me, which is a really good thing. Left by myself I am not that nice (think self absorbed, anti social and controlling to name a few vices)

So anyway.

I had the opportunity to grow nicer this week. Yes, am marginally nicer than when I started the week. Thanks God.

J's Mom calls (Rupi's birth grandmother). J is up visiting and has been up for the last week. He is leaving to go back to where he lives the next morning so can we make a bbq that night. She explains that they have been really busy with family so didn't call sooner.

Not so nice me (pre the work God did on me) thinks the following. IS Rupi not family? WHY are we called at the last possible moment and expected to drop everything to go over to see them? ARGH. I said I would think about what we could do and call back.

I had the self protection course that night and was going in with my sister. She would probably not go if I backed out. Dida was/ is sick and not up to taking two small terrors out on his own. I called Dida and vented. He is super wise and said the following "think about what is best for Rupi and do that".

Ah, Godly wisdom from my gem of a husband. It immediately took the "me" out of the situation and I could think. What was best for my boy? Not for J, his Mom or me. Him. Pure and simple. It was best for him to see J. He's 3 years old and remembers things. Lots of things. We need to store good memories whenever we can, regardless of how we feel and how inconvenient it is. My boy is worth it.

So Dida came home early and took over Blossom duty. Rupi and I went to visit J in the late afternoon. We stayed for about an hour and it was good. It was long enough for J to connect with him, spoil him and play with him. For them to bond some more. They laid down another row of bricks in the foundation of their relationship. It was the best choice for my son.

And I was happy too. Seeing Rupi laughing and playing equals happy Sammy. And I put "me" aside and grew a teeny bit nicer. Which will be welcome news to those that love me!

Loving list

Well, hello there. I know I have been neglectful and vacant, so sorry.... So to make up somewhat here's a list of things I am loving right now (joining in with PJ)

♥ I have attended a self protection course. I can now beat the snot of any man who tries to hurt me. Truly. This course is amazing. The guy leading it grabbed me from behind (really grabbed with yelling and swearing) and I had him on the ground with the protective helmet he was wearing ripped off in about 5 seconds. And I am a wimp.

♥ Self diagnosis rocks. I figured my tuberculosis/ endless sounding cough was actually a post natal drip. Right on. It's on the mend which is brilliant. Maybe someday soon Dida will move back into the marital bed because I don't spend most of the night sounding like a barking seal....

♥ I got some green space sewing done. I made Rupi a shepherd's costume for his preschool concert next Monday. Oh, be still my beating heart. I can't wait to see him all dressed up with his little friends.

♥ I looked forward to his preschool year photo so much. It was on a day he doesn't go to school, never mind, I took him in and waited for him.... This is him in the photo. What the heck?

Yes you can see his real name, look away people, look away.



♥ Blossom is so long now. And talking! Way before our little man did, picking up words left right and centre. Told me she was holding onto my "shouder" (shoulder) this morning as I put her pants on. Genius.



♥ Potty delight. Blossom is well on her way just like her big brother. Took her out in undies today- did two wees at the mall. Woop! And when we go to pick her brother up from school she's stays dry all the way there AND all the way back. Love it.

♥ I love summer. The warmth, the bliss, the lack of layers, the ice creams. Love it!

Tradition loving

I love traditions. And the longer they go on the more they mean. They grow richer over time. One of our most special ones is the children getting their own Christmas tree ornament. We did it last year with Rupi & Blossom, and with Rupi the year before that. The year before that I chose an ornament for him as he was only 8 weeks old.

I love that one day they will have their own special Christmas tree and be able to trace their ornaments back through the years. And when they leave home they will take some of their childhood with them, through the ornaments they have chosen.

This year like last year, I chose Blossom's for her. Mainly so I could keep her in my arms and stop her ripping the trees and tearing the bundles of ornaments to shreds. So here is hers... cutsy pie and just like her.


Rupi chose his like he did last year. Although this years is a little more in line with his personality and passion. So, of course, it's a truck....!



So grateful for this Christmas season. Thank you Jesus!

celebrating my tiny girl

This weekend for a night, it was just me and my girl. Life shifted and changed to suit our feminine bent. It was quieter and a bit slower and less intense.

This little girl has me wrapped around her little finger. So much independence wrapped up in a dainty frame, this pint sized person takes on her world without fear. I love her spirit and attitude. Yes, the attitude is surfacing....

On Saturday we went to a Santa Parade near where we live. She loved it. Loved being with her Nana and Aunty and Uncle, reveling in being the only girl. Giving and then withholding hugs and cuddles, she's so funny.

I love this tiny girl!

celebrating my little boy

I love the definition of a boy I saw on a sign a while ago (I am SURE I have shared this before)

boy (n): noise with dirt on it

And that's my boy. This morning as he was standing in the laundry pounding the side of the washing machine for an eternity while singing loudly, I took a deep breath, and reminded myself of that definition. He's a boy. And so he's loud and carries dirt. In his hair, on his face, and on his hands. He's immensely strong (and can even hurt me!), but also tender and loving. When life is just too much he cuddles up in my lap. Really curls himself into a ball on me.

He's my boy. I would not change him to make him quieter, slower or less of himself. I love him just the way he is. His enthusiasm for everything is inspiring. His enthusiam for not listening or pushing his sister around is less inspiring but still, he's a boy. Testosterone charged and filled to the brim of life, he's MY boy. And I thank God for him.