Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Pressing in

Finding God where I need Him. And I really need Him. This week has been so rough with the nanny. Rupi is not accepting her. It’s so stressful and I am trying to be so upbeat. It’s hard.

I feel bad sometimes that I tell it how it is. I used to hate people complaining about their children. So I am always reluctant to complain. I hope that this is not seen as complaining. I just can’t pretend that it’s all plain sailing. Gail’s post about keeping it real was so good. If we can’t be honest here in our on-line journals, where are we real?

Nicole’s post was also so very good. God often uses her words to speak to me. Suddenly there I find Him. I can breathe again. Her post was about her life and the sweet victory she is experiencing. But He spoke to me about my situation and I believe I too can have victory.

She posted a song Json Ft. Thisl and Ad3. I can’t even pronounce their names I am so uncool! But Something resonates. I am not created to be the tail. This does not have to be this hard. This is the Promised Land. It is not the wilderness.

The song lyrics : You are not a goon*. That’s not why He created you. He made you for His glory. In His Image and His Likeness.

I have been on my knees praying for Rupi to adjust. For him to grow in confidence and security. He is made in God’s Image and His likeness and does not have to behave the way he does. He may not be able to choose but I can for him while he’s young. I can stand in the gap for him.

I am praying over my house that it’s a place of peace and harmony. And today was a tiny bit better. And by faith tomorrow will be better.

I would never swop this for even one nano second. This is what I choose and what I dreamed and hoped for. This is what I ached for. And I love it. Even in the killer times I love it. My sweet little boy is asleep now and I can’t wait for him to wake up. There will be tantrums and timeouts and smacking Mama but I can’t wait.

I saw on a quote on another blog and it speaks to me:

These are the days of miracles and wonder. By Paul Simon

They truly are. My family is made for His Glory.

post signature

*Goon: see Nicole's post for actual meaning.

Meaning for me: The underdog. The oppressed.

Meaning for Rupi: Insecure and beneath. Lacking in confidence. Slave to his emotion.


tea said...

I don't think it seems like complaining at all. As much as we love our kid(s), sometimes there are hard times and it's good to acknowledge it. Sometimes I feel that way too though, that after all the waiting and hoping I shouldn't "complain", but sometimes it is hard. I will be praying for you guys.

Gail said...

Definitely not complaining - just the reality of how hard it is at times!! And crikey, if you can't write about it, then what can you write about!?

Gosh, I love that song (inner rap-child here) I visited Nicole's blog - how awesome is she!? And then posted the clip on Facebook. Sad, I am... but really, I know I'm cool-as. Haha.

Sammy said...

She's pretty jolly awesome! Nicole challenges and inspired me. And she's my friend (yay!)

Anonymous said...

Not complaining at all! Your blog is a place to lay it out if you want to. I feel like the more you lay out, the more support you can get. I'll be praying for both you and Rueben!

Simoney said...

Good on you Sammy for keeping it real! Parenting is hard owrk, in the midst of the blessing. It's fighting the giants in the Promised Land.
We need all the encouragement we can get, so keeping it real lets us know that you need some!

You are a GREAT mother. You soooo love your precious bundles. They are at the top of your list. Don't be hard on yourself or doubt how well you are doing as a parent. We ALL do that, but we SHOULDN'T. Keep sharing, we love ya.

Penny said...

ha ha go Sam, love the song! ...We are not goons!
And will pray your little man adjusts better to the nanny this week xx

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