I feel bad sometimes that I tell it how it is. I used to hate people complaining about their children. So I am always reluctant to complain. I hope that this is not seen as complaining. I just can’t pretend that it’s all plain sailing. Gail’s post about keeping it real was so good. If we can’t be honest here in our on-line journals, where are we real?
Nicole’s post was also so very good. God often uses her words to speak to me. Suddenly there I find Him. I can breathe again. Her post was about her life and the sweet victory she is experiencing. But He spoke to me about my situation and I believe I too can have victory.
She posted a song Json Ft. Thisl and Ad3. I can’t even pronounce their names I am so uncool! But Something resonates. I am not created to be the tail. This does not have to be this hard. This is the Promised Land. It is not the wilderness.
The song lyrics : You are not a goon*. That’s not why He created you. He made you for His glory. In His Image and His Likeness.
I have been on my knees praying for Rupi to adjust. For him to grow in confidence and security. He is made in God’s Image and His likeness and does not have to behave the way he does. He may not be able to choose but I can for him while he’s young. I can stand in the gap for him.
I am praying over my house that it’s a place of peace and harmony. And today was a tiny bit better. And by faith tomorrow will be better.
I would never swop this for even one nano second. This is what I choose and what I dreamed and hoped for. This is what I ached for. And I love it. Even in the killer times I love it. My sweet little boy is asleep now and I can’t wait for him to wake up. There will be tantrums and timeouts and smacking Mama but I can’t wait.
I saw on a quote on another blog and it speaks to me:
These are the days of miracles and wonder. By Paul Simon
They truly are. My family is made for His Glory.
*Goon: see Nicole's post for actual meaning.
Meaning for me: The underdog. The oppressed.
Meaning for Rupi: Insecure and beneath. Lacking in confidence. Slave to his emotion.