Monday, December 20, 2010

Note to self

You know when you have a train of thought that haunts you? You find yourself thinking about it again and again. This is one of those trains. A good train, a God train. So good I am sure I have posted on it before but actually haven't. It's familiar to me by now and that's good.

You see, I am sitting in one my favourite cafes feeling utterly intimidated. Completely and totally intimidated. It sits in the base of my stomach like a stone.

One of the design companies I used to work for is after one of my clients. They are targeting them and wooing them. And I am afraid. Afraid that they will succeed.
Because in the natural this design company is larger than me and have been around for longer than my little business. They are also merciless. When I worked for them they managed to get hold of another design companies client list. And systematically worked through this list targeting the other company's clients one by one. They nearly forced this other design company out of business. Merciless. The marketing director would take the last crumb from my mouth while I starved.

So I am intimidated.

The problem is that my intimidation has no basis in reality. I am approached by people to work with them on a weekly basis. I have enough work. My clients like me and I am good at what I do. Being real here, please hear my heart. I have no grounds for intimidation.

So what's the deal? I am afraid. My achilles heel- fear. Fear is never ok. Not even the smallest bit of it. There are sayings out there "feel the fear and do it anyway" or "do it happy scared". Neither is ok. Fear is never to be tolerated. Ever.

Fear is rooted in unbelief. So as I sit here feeling intimidated I have lifted my fear up above God. I fear that God can't do it. That He can't provide me with work. Rubbish. Utter rubbish. He is God Almighty. Of course He can do it. And (though He doesn't need to) He has proved that He can. He has a track record.



God has been speaking to me about fear. And with His help I will root it out. Grab hold of every root and pull it out. Starting with intimidation. I like this train of thought!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7



Sarah Denley said...

I have had so many fears lately, mostly about something terrible happening to our little girl. I actually just wrote a post about it:

I keep humming "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus" and I love the part where it talks about being released from fear and sin. I'm so grateful He did that for us!

FROGGITY! said...

i was just about to quote the above verse... but then there it is!

i will say a prayer for you. i know it's hard sometimes to overcome that fear (i struggle with that often, and that verse can be my best friend... sometimes i find myself saying it over and over...), but He definitely has a plan and you are on the right track. stay strong! and have a very merry christmas with those amazing little ones!!!

Anonymous said...

absolutely Sammy
Power love and self discipline!
love it...feel the feelings but live the truth!

great post

love and light

tea said...

I read this when you first posted it and have thought of it at different times, since. I love your heart, and I'm praying for you. <3

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