Anyway, blah blah, being sick bores me. Does it bore anyone else? I think that's why I try to ignore it and pretend it's not happening which of course prolongs it as I don't medicate myself. It's so DULL being sick.
Anyway (for the second time) I had an amazing revelation over the last few days.
We are struggling financially because we have lost my income. I have always earned a lot (relatively) and now I earn zilcho. This is a season that I have dreaded in a financial sense only, for a long time, try my whole married life. It's an issue of trust so my God tells me.
We have a big offering coming up at church and I burn to give BIG. Who wants to be a stingy-pants anyway? Well, we are struggling to meet our last pledge so how can we step out and pledge more? Plus we are about to spend $10,ooo on treatment so giving anything when we don't have 2 brass beans to rub together does not make natural sense.
My hubbie and I were in discussions about this all last week which of course was a great time to discuss anything of note, given that I was sick and very stable emotionally.
So on Sunday Ps. Neil Smith from Planetshakers was visiting our church and talked about faith. So good. About hearing God, seeing what He sees and then doing. Hearing God and then ignoring what the world says and seeing what God sees. And acting on that.
He talked about the 10 spies going into the promised land (Numbers 13). The land was promised- God said so. They weren't going in to see if the land could be theirs. They were supposed to go in and look for strategies to take the land.
In Joshua 1 God says that everywhere we lay the sole of our foot is land he has given us. That means our dreams too. If you walk through your dreams and imagine what God could do, you are laying the sole of your foot on them. They are yours.
The point is that I have a dream. I have a dream for a business. A huge audacious dream with a primary goal of looking after the widows and orphans. And God whispered in my ear- I have given you that land, the land of your dreams. I just need to spend time with him until the voices of doom and gloom are drowned out and I have strategies for taking the promised land.
I also have a dream to be pregnant- twice! I have walked that dream so often. It's where I have laid the sole of my foot and God says that's it's mine. The voices will try to drown it out- I am too old, it won't work, my body can't carry a child. But I have HEARD God and so I set my face like flint towards Him.
So we can either live and give in terms of the dreams or listen to the world and what it says. Well, I choose God.
He's bigger. And He loves me.
And God is totally blessing us at the moment! This is a list (yes a list!)
- After the service someone (who we love a lot) came up and gave us a cheque towards treatment! We were blown away.
- AND we got given a ton of clothes for the tiny man on the weekend- nice stuff too with some brand new Gap clothes.
- AND somehow our Shout conference registrations got paid for us.
- AND we got an amazing book on raising boys that I have been salivating over.
- AND we are getting some money back from over paid taxes.
God told me that He has my tomorrow and all I need to do is enjoy the now. Totally blessed!