Saturday, April 11, 2009

My Genesis moment

The greatest conference on the planet is almost over. I wish I could be there tonight but my little boy needed a bit of home time. He has been SOOOO good as his Mommy dragged him out for two solid days!

Shout last year was pretty rough. My precious Da (my hubbie's Dad) was on holiday way down south and in the hills on his tribe's land. An hour's drive into the hills from the nearest highway and outside cell phone coverage. The way in is a rutted track that clings to the side of the hills- not pretty.

We got the news that he needed to get to the nearest hospital fast. His blood count was so low that if he had a heart attack (which was imminent) he would die. We were on our way into the first meeting of Shout and turned around grabbed some clothes and headed south. He was in hospital when we got there having the first of many blood transfusions.

We were so scared at the thought of losing him and 12 short weeks later, we did. Shout 2008 was the start of losing him and does not hold good memories.

But this year was different. We still ache for our Da but we know that through his illness he came to know Jesus and so we will see him again.

This Shout was so different.

This was a Genesis moment for so many of us. But for 3 couples the last 12 months have been life changing.

As the years have wound on there is a group of long terms Infertiles that have continued to wait for breakthrough. As everyone who walked through infertility got their breakthrough we could only watch. There was me and 2 others. These women are amazing and the hardest thing for me was the knowledge of what a gift they would be to children. They would be incredible mothers.

I admit that I struggled to even hope that the 3 of us would ever be Mommy's.

But this Shout, this conference WE ARE ALL MOTHERS.

In the last 12 months our situations have turned around 180 degrees. We are all mothers.

I could not contain myself. I am so grateful.

The most awesome thing is that the gratitude I feel flows from the deep place that was formed by the pain of infertility. Infertility ripped my heart and I would give that hurt to God and worship Him from there. It would hurt so much and I would stand there crying (again and again) but it was a sacrifice of praise. My even if.

I found myself the "big cry baby girl" again this conference. I was weeping as the gratitude flowed. For E and B too, who are now mothers. I am so thankful.

I am sorry if I go on and on about how grateful I am but words just don't do what He has done for all of us justice. When I see E walking through the foyer with her little boys (yes plural!) I just want to weep as I know what they mean. God restored the years that the locusts ate. And the beauty of the whole thing is that on the first day of Shout those little boys got E and M as their forever Mommy and Daddy in court. That actual day.

E and I just look into each others eyes. We know. We know what He has done.

This Shout was our Genesis moment. I have loved this conference, the speakers, the revelation, the way God showed up and whispered "watch me do the impossible"..... but what I will remember is how grateful I am. How I stood with Rupi at the back, worshiping. Me. So called barren girl.

God came through. Thank you Jesus. Thank you.

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Rebecca said...

I got emotional reading about you all becoming mums! So so happy for you..and how awesome about E and M and their boys THAT day. Keep hearing how awesome shout has we have to be there next year!!!

GB said...

Awesome post Sammy! So much for us all to be thankful for - I am so thankful to God that He has been faithful to you all.

Penny said...

I'm so grateful too xxx every time I see Reuben. Love ya

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